My Review of "All Fours by Miranda July on Goodreads

All Fours by Miranda July
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Just finished reading this and wow. I'm still processing what I just read. I gotta say, I really, really liked this book, but I don't know if it's everyone's cup of tea.

This novel is a first-person, stream-of -thought narrative of a successful person, she has it all, a successful career (she's "semi-famous") a precious child, a successful husband ("he's a good man") big house in the LA suburbs. She's supposed to go on a 3-week trip to New York by car. Instead of driving to New York, she stops at a motel 30 minutes from her house. Then things start to go from weird to wild. Then full blown insane. I could not stop reading this book, I kept trying to see where this was going but I could not.

I picked up this book almost by accident, it was on a list of favorite books of 2024 or something like that. However, I noticed a lot of themes in the story: women's issues, trauma, sex, infidelity, marriage, mental health, women's health (which deserves more attention) menopause. The book is very funny in some parts but it can get dark. It's witty, insightful and I felt like the author had "SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY" but I could not put my finger on what exactly.

Some passages were disorienting by design, like, sometimes it's hard to say what parts of the story, like really happened versus it being fantasy or dream the character is having. The story is about a person losing her marbles and doing one crazy thing after the next. It's hard for me to say how the reader (or author) is supposed to feel about the main character, are we supposed to sympathize? see their humanity and not judge, are we supposed to see ourselves in her. Are we supposed to be impartial witnesses? or this question just missing the point of the book? Maybe yes to all of the above.

I think it's telling that the author has been in a podcast with Dr. Esther Perel, the famous author on relationships and sexuality. This would explain why the author is very open about women's sexuality, I had no idea there would be so much erotic and sexual content. If you are a prude or easily shocked, yeah, this book ain't for you.

I think that a lot of people will enjoy reading this book, specially women of a certain age. You will see topics that don't usually get covered in popular mass media. What is it like to go through menopause? How does aging differ between men and women? How should we think about parenting in the year 2025. How do you deal with the anger that comes after a trauma?

This book is extremely relevant in the age of Trump. Now that women's rights are literally under attack, we all need to fight back...anyway, I digress. This is a good book. Everyone should read it. Not everyone will enjoy it. I loved it because it helped me see the world through different lenses. I made me widen my perspective. Excellent book by Miranda July

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December 15 2002

 

M and I got married in October of 2002. Oct 10th to be precise. We drove to the courthouse in Fort Lauderdale to get hitched. I remember it was a weekday, the air was warm the sky was bright, a typical "fall" day in Florida. It was just the two of us when we got officially married, a random stranger was the official witness. We splurged and paid the extra $5 to get our picture taken. 

We had a wedding ceremony December 15th 2002. It was a small ceremony, conducted in Spanish at a  church in Margate FL. My aunt presided the ceremony.  A few close friends showed up. One friend from the Marines was there (you know who you are, thank you) a few friends from the University were there.  ( I had just completed the Fall Semester of '02, my fifth) M saw something in me and decided that I was her person. I wanted to live up to her expectations. I have fallen short of that, but I haven't stopped trying to be the person she deserves.  I still remember her walking down the aisle and her hands were shaking when we were at the altar. I remember the kiss at the end and walking into the cool December air. 

I don't want to say we are perfect, we are not. I want to say that I am lucky and that I am thankful for sharing my life with this woman. I am lucky and grateful that she made me a father, that she taught me how to be a good man. 

December 15th 2002 was a cool day for South Florida standards. I don't know the precise temps all I know is that it was deliciously cool. After the wedding we went to Embassy Suites on 17th Street causeway, we were so tired we literally crashed and went to sleep right away, the reception took all our energy.  The next day we drove to Orlando to Universal Studios FL for a one-day honeymoon. 

Less than one month later I would be back in active duty as an infantry sergeant in the 124th Infantry Regiment as a member of the Florida Army National Guard.  3 months after my wedding my unit got deployed to go to Iraq. I saw my wife again Dec 15th 2003 for two weeks of leave,  my deployment ended in March 2004 15 months total. 

I like to think that we had 3 honeymoons, the first one was that one day after the wedding that we went to Orlando. A year later we saw each other when I was granted leave from Combat, we flew to NYC for a few days. The real honeymoon though, what I consider our real honeymoon was a couple of months after I came back from Iraq. 

I don't remember exactly how the conversation went, but it must have gone like:

Me: "So I've never been to Epcot or MGM Studios"

M: "What?! no way, so you are telling me you have lived in Florida all this time and never been?"

Me: "that's correct"

M: "we need to fix that"

In the Spring of 2004 we went to every single Disney Park in the Orlando area. I think of that week as the real honeymoon, because our true life as a married couple started then. 

Anyway, if you are reading this, thank you for reading. Just wanted to share what's on my mind today. I don't want to give the impression that everyday is easy or great. I just want to say that I feel very lucky to have met such a wonderful woman. M is the best thing that has happened to me. 

-JV

Debunking the Myth of the Illegal Immigrant Crime Wave

 The myth that immigrants are more likely to commit violent crimes than native-born Americans is false and has been debunked by research again and again. The myth persist thanks to Fox News and right-wing politicians. 

Why does this myth persists? 

Number one is that propaganda works. There's numerous research done that people end up believing a lie after listening to it, over and over. It's called the Illusory Truth Effect  Violent crimes committed by people of color are over-represented in the media. The more you see it in the news the more you associate crime with immigration. Heck, this blog post probably will end up reinforcing the link. But what can I say? 

Number two fear of the "other" is human nature, blaming problems on a scape-goat, specially if the group you blame cannot fight back makes an useful diversion tool. Politicians use illegal immigrant crimes as a tool to get people outraged. GOP and right-wingers love to talk about crime rates when in fact crime has been at its lowest since the 90's (According to the FBI crime data) 

The incarceration rate of White US-Born people has been higher than Immigrants for the past 60 years:

Source 

Immigrants in general and Undocumented immigrants in particular come here to work and to escape really crappy conditions. Not to commit crimes. However, the media and politicians will make you think otherwise, let's face it, why let reality get in the way of a profitable fantasy? Fear of immigrants will get more views, and more views means more ad revenue,  scary stories of the brown rapist will get politicians elected it's such an easy racket. Who is going to stand up for the illegals? Who will Speak Up for them?  Democrats? 

Trip to London

 Just got back from London. 

It was a "quick" trip, but we packed a lot. We stayed in Victoria right behind Buckingham Palace. The king was pulling in the palace when we were getting dropped off from the airport. The place was okay. The rooms small, but the service was good. 

Thursday:

Arrive. Walk around Hyde Park, take the bus to the Jellycat Toy Shop. Apparently that's supposed to be a big thing, I had no idea until that day. Get some much-needed sleep. 

Friday 

Day Tour to Windsor, Stonehenge and Bath.  Saw the sights, our daughter and her boyfriend had not seen it. Babe and I did last time we were there, we liked the tour so much we did it again with them. 

Saturday 

Victoria and Albert Museum and then met up with my daughter's boyfriend's family. We walked around Harrods which was crowded but nice. Later that day we went to dinner at a famous Italian restaurant. 

Sunday 

Shakespeare's Globe guided tour. Our guide was quite funny made it interesting. The Globe is a replica of the theater where they would have shown the bard's plays. I bought a book about "how to read Shakespeare" so I look forward to that. 

We walked to Tower London (in the rain) and then went for afternoon tea. 

 

Monday

Borough Market in the morning. Then met up with Martha's friend from the internet! at London Bridge, talked, had lunch and then we walked from there to Covent Gardens. We did a lot of walking and some shopping. Later we did the Xmas Winter Wonderland. 

Tuesday 

Fly back. Left Tuesday at 1 PM London time, arrived Tuesday 3 PM Seattle time, so the trip took 2 hours :)

Conclusion:

So this was an action-packed short trip. Yet, I feel ready to get back to work. I read a few interesting books on the trip, so I'll post the review of those books on Goodreads. 

London is cold and rainy just like Seattle, it was big, full of lights, the energy gives me New York vibes with Victorian architecture. The accent is catchy, so I had to make an effort not to talk like Londoners because I cannot pull that off. 

I had a great time. Now back to work. 

-JV

It's just a joke right?

 "I was only joking, lighten up!"

"Why are you so fanatical"

"Calm down"

The other day I blocked another family member on FB after they posted a "joke" where the butt of the joke was a queer person. I am posting this to let you know that if I see that kind of crap on my social media timeline, I will call you out on it, then probably block you and report you. I know that I am not going to change people's minds anyway, but at least you will know that I don't tolerate that bullshit. 

If I doesn't change a person's mind, why do it?

I used to just let it go, and move on with my day, maybe make a mental note. I understand that people say stuff without meaning any harm. Of course people will complain about "being politically correct" and what not. I believe in every one's rights to say whatever they want to say, in the context of the law you should be able to say whatever you want to say, but just because something is legal, doesn't mean it's not fucked up. Technically, being a jackass is not illegal, you can be dumb as fuck and be within the bounds of the law. In the realms of the personal, I will not suffer bigots. I will not tolerate intolerance. Period. 

In my personal life I have boundaries and I will not have any bigots in my life. If you say something stupid near me I will call you out. It's that simple. 

I have to live everyday with the fear that some hateful incel with nothing better to do will attack my daughter just for existing. The stats for anit-trans hate crimes are on a10 year high in Tacoma WA 

The next administration campaigned on taking rights away from my daughter and people like her. Even if she were to keep her rights and be treated equally by law, I have to worry about her getting proper healtcare, about not-hired for a job, getting fired for no reason, and being under-paid. All these things are real concerns.  Since trans people are a minority, there aren't enough people out there fighting for trans rights, for right to exist and live their live in peace. 

So, fuck that, if I hear you make jokes about trans people then I will call you out. 

So here's are my reasons for calling people out on their transphobic BS

- Saying nothing implies approval. 

- Saying nothing helps the status quo

- Saying nothing teaches nothing

- Saying nothing makes me complacent

- Saying nothing normalizes anti-trans sentiments

- Saying something may help change someone's mind

- Saying something raises awareness. 

My Review of James by Percival Everett on GoodReads

James by Percival Everett
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I enjoyed reading this book. A lot.

I must confess that I was skeptical at first, I read "The Adventures oF Huckleberry Finn" a long time ago and I didn't want to change my perception of it.

I was hooked on the first pages.

So the original story follows Huck and Jim as they runaway and travel through the Mississippi in the middle of the 19th century south.

This novel is the same story told through the eyes of James, the runaway slave.

I don't know how the author manages to expose the brutalities of slavery while making it funny. He makes fun of racist white people, and he calls out how you have your obvious racists, but also the people who don't consider themselves racist, but, do nothing to change what's going on.

There's a lot to this book. It's well written, funny, it's deep, thought provoking. I hope many people get to read it.

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My review of "Ripe" by Sarah Rose Etter on GoodReads

Ripe by Sarah Rose Etter
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Cassie is a tech worker on the verge of a meltdown. Her job at a San Francisco Startup is sucking her soul. Her support system keeps her going, but that's not going well either. This is a dark, in-your face, novel about is about the life of a overworked tech worker in a tech town. It's also about a woman trying to get by in a world dominated by men. The effects of the Patriarchy and the casual, constant misogyny are big elements of the story as well. It's set in SF but could easily be Seattle.

There's a lot of themes and messages in this book that resonate with me. The biggest one is how the character notices the contrast between the unhoused people in the city next to extremely wealthy folks. People go about their business complaining that their employer-provided breakfast is not up to the standards while there are people outside their building living in tents and defecating on the street.
The author frames this as a class struggle, with rich corporation exploiting workers and Believers (the main character's co-workers) making it happen without noticing what they are doing.

This is not a feel-good story. I don't want to spoil the book for anyone reading this review who wants to read it. Cassie (the main character) has a ton of issues going on, I feel like the book could have go on for longer, but maybe it's a good thing to spare us the pain.

I will be thinking about Cassie for a long time.

Good Read

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Good Bye Sweet Girl.

 

On Monday Nov 18 we put our sweet Chicha to sleep. She has been sick since the summer and there was pretty much nothing we could do except prolong her suffering. 

It's a tough decision, you don't want to see your furry friend go, but you don't want them to live in pain either. 

Letting go is never easy, but I feel content because damn, Chicha had an awesome life. Chicha was fiercely loved by everyone in the family. 

I want to save the good memories but I also want to call out that Chicha transformed our lives. No lie, no exaggeration, we changed thanks to her. 

Before Chicha I didn't think I had it in me to love a dog. The wife and I considered ourselves cat people. 

Chicha is the whole reason my wife got into the dog-sitting business in the first place, we were looking for someone to take care of Chicha the first time we flew back to Florida after the Seattle move, the Rover App asked her if she was interested in being a pet-sitter herself, next thing you know, we're running a side-gig in Rover watching people's dogs. 

Chicha was there since our youngest was 5 and the oldest 7. They basically grew up with her. 

We met so many wonderful people and dogs thanks to Chicha and the dog business. 

Chicha was a well-behaved, friendly, mellow dog. 

Here's a list of my favorite memories and things about Chicha.

Nicknames

Chicha was named after the Venezuelan drink made with rice milk and cinnamon. 

Her nicknames were Cha, ChaCha, SalChicha, Best Doggy, Best Doggy For Real and Best Doggy For Real For Real. 

Origin Story

Chicha was one year old when we got her. A Co-worker and friend of mine could not take care of her anymore because she traveled a lot so she asked me if I wanted her, I talked to the wife and she said yes, I believe it was supposed to be a two week trial period, but after the first day we knew she would stick around. 

First Day

I remember the day that they dropped her off, I'll never forget my neighbor asking the old owner's husband at the time (English is not his first language, or second) if Chicha was an English Bulldog. 

"No, she's British Bulldog" replied the man. I was dying trying not to laugh. 

Naughty Acts

Within a week of being at our home Chicha got to my wife's shoe collection. Let me tell you something, if there were a fire at the house my wife would have saved her shoes before saving me, for sure. When she moved out of her house she had two bags, one bag of clothes and one large bag of all her shoes. These were nice, dressy high heels. Not cheap. Well, Chicha got to them, all of them. She ate them, ate the heels to be precise, one shoe per pair, all pairs.  When I found out about it I thought she was done, to my utter surprise my wife was like, "no, it's my fault, I should have closed the bedroom door" I knew then, that Chicha was going nowhere. 

Chicha never met a trash can she didn't like. One time we put old cookie dough in the trash only to find the trash can turned over and only like an ounce of cookie dough on the floor, she managed to eat a whole bowl's worth of raw dough. What happened next was not pretty, I had never cleaned vanilla-smelling vomit before. Now I have. 

Chicha pushed my wife's grandma into the fountain at Mizner Park. That was a crazy day. 

The moment Chicha won me over

Chicha and I moved to Seattle first. She kept me company those first couple of months. Before then she was never allowed on the furniture. My first night in Seattle, she casually jumped on the bed and laid down next to me. I was won over. 

Chicha climbed Mount Si. 

She did, she was a trooper, she was atheletic during her prime, she made the whole trip without many breaks, 8 mile round trip with 3200 feet of elevation gain. 

Chicha met the Author of Fight Club

Chuck Palahniuk is a Seattle native author. He was very impressed.

Chicha went on road trips.

Disney World, Jacksonville, Oregon Coast, San Francisco she was a good sport.

Chicha didn't like working at Amazon

Chicha was mellow at home, but at the office she was not comfortable. I could not leave her side or she'll start to bark, which was not normal for her. Here she is with Draco before he took the mandatory training on sexual harassment.

Chicha liked being in the water

She went out to Lake Union more than once, she was very happy to be outdoors.

Chicha loved the attention

If you paid to much attention to another dog, she would get in between you and the dog. It was hilarious.

Chicha knew how to open the gate to her corral

Link to video

Chicha was a big sister

I was holding Chicha when she left us.

The vet came to our house, our Furbo caught the whole thing, which was kinda morbid IMO. We took pictures, but they are not for sharing. All I can say is that I feel thankful that I was able to hold her and say good bye.


Good bye Chicha. Thanks for all the love.

My Daugher Wrote A Poem about Chicha

last day

we sit with traces of her on our clothes 

up and down goes her inflating lungs with any bit of energy she has left 

inevitable. 

whether our choice or hers we knew this day was coming

knees to chest i sat against a wall wondering how i’ll live without her

haven’t seen my dad cry so hard, as if his own child is dying which in a sense, it is

remembering when she would crawl on and almost crush me; pushing her and banning her from my room i would give anything to bring that back, the privilege of jumping onto my bed, never wanting to stop playing my tug of war or digging into the trash bin; my young girl

growing up alongside me my childhood is over, marking the end, she closes her eyes and lets out one last breath

Gvillalta

My Review of Bright Young Women by Jessy Knoll on GoodReads

Bright Young Women by Jessica Knoll
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This Novel is the story of the horrible murders committed at FSU in 1978 by the first famous serial killer told through the eyes of Pamela, the president of the sorority and eye witness.

This is a book that I couldn't put down. It's written from the POV of two women, one in Seattle in 1974 and the other one Florida in 1978. I really loved the fact that the serial killer's name is never mentioned in the book, he's just referred to as "The Defendant" It calls out the fact the this guy destroyed the lives of multiple families and was rewarded by becoming a celebrity while the names of the victims are forgotten. I liked that it debunked the myth that the killer was an "evil genius" and replaced it with the reality that he was just a mediocre incel that hated women. This books shows how misogyny feels, I felt the frustration and the anger Pamela felt while reading through her ordeal.
There's a lot of depth here. I love it when a book shows me new perspective, when it changes the way I see things. This is one of those books.



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