20 Years of Blogging

 Wow, 20 years go by so quickly. 

I started writing this blog in 2005, my life was changing...for good, but it was happening so quickly I realized the magnitude of what was to come. 20 years ago I had been married for a little over 2 years, October would be the 3 year anniversary. But we really started living together as a married couple March 2004 when I got back from Iraq. In May 2005 we would learn that my wife was pregnant, 20 weeks along and we didn't know it! We had put money down for our first home, it was a pre-construction in Margate FL. I had  a 6-month "Co-op" (longer internship) with IBM, my first tech job. I had completed roughly half of my undergraduate classes. It was really my wife and I. 

The thought of becoming a parent changed the way I saw myself and the way I saw the world.  I wanted (I still do) to be a good father. To be a better father than mine, I wanted to raise good people. I was looking for a way to discover myself, since I thought there is no "handbook" to being a parent. 

Well it turns out, there have been pretty good books written on the subject, I just didn't know it. I now realize that yeah, everyone's life a bit different and you have to make decisions on a case by case basis. That doesn't mean that you can't educate yourself. 

In any case, 20 years have gone by, my oldest daughter is a freshman at UW and my youngest is a Senior in high school. I am very proud of them. 

Now begins a new chapter. We are going to be empty-nesters. New transition in life. I look forward to it, but I am a bit scared, same as I was when my kids were about to be born. 

We put so much of our personality and efforts into being parents, once the kids are gone, what is left? 

There are many things to do, places to go, sights to see. I look forward to see what's in store. NGL, it's intimidating. 

-JV

10 New Books to Feed Your Mind

This is probably spam, but this article came up on my google chrome feed:

The 10 New Books to Feed Your Mind

Since I'm a sucker for reading lists, and this is a subject dear to my heart, I'm gonna go ahead and copy/pasta the whole thing here. (sorry not sorry)

One thing we can all control this year is the information that we let into our heads. As I reviewed this winter’s new releases, I had three filters: screen out what’s inaccurate, impractical, and uninteresting.

My recommended reads to start 2025 are brimming with thought-provoking ideas and data points—and they won’t put you to sleep. The common threads are improving communication and relationships, increasing happiness and well-being, and igniting change.

Communication and Relationships

1. Calling In by Loretta Ross (February 4)

This book is the ultimate antidote to cancel culture. Drawing on her extensive experience talking people out of hate, a teacher and activist offers profound insights about how to get through to others—and maintain your own dignity along the way.

2. Validation by Caroline Fleck (February 18)

Warning: reading this book may make you a better parent, partner, colleague, and friend. A talented therapist offers a crash course in important and neglected skills for building, maintaining, and repairing relationships.

3. Ping by Andrew Brodsky (February 11)

Finally: an evidence-based guide to having better conversations by text, email, phone, video, and yes, even social media. An expert on virtual communication offers surprising insights and useful tips for avoiding misunderstandings and making genuine connections.

4. Outraged by Kurt Gray (January 14)

A riveting read on the roots of our bitterest conflicts—and the remedies for them. A leading light in moral psychology overturns widespread assumptions about why we’re divided and illuminates how we can come together.

Happiness and Well-Being

5. Shift by Ethan Kross (Feb 4)

If you think you can’t control what you feel, get ready to think again. This is a page-turner from a top psychologist that’s grounded in science and filled with practical insights on managing emotions.

6. Life in Three Dimensions by Shigehiro Oishi (February 4)

It turns out that there’s more to life than happiness and meaning. Building on his pioneering research, this psychologist introduces a third dimension of the good life: having new and interesting experiences.

Change

7. Defy by Sunita Sah (January 14)

A powerful book about overcoming peer pressure by a physician turned management professor. If you’ve ever compromised your principles to please others, Defy will give you the will—and the skill—to stand up for yourself.

8. Reset by Dan Heath (January 21)

One of my favorite behavioral science communicators explores how to fix what’s broken. It’s the long-awaited sequel to Switch.

9. Make Work Fair by Iris Bohnet and Siri Chilazi (January 28)

Whereas many discussions of DEI are driven by ideology, this book is grounded in evidence. It’s a timely resource for building workplaces that create opportunities for everyone to succeed and belong.

10. Superagency by Reid Hoffman and Greg Beato (January 28)

The influential entrepreneur-investor highlights the risks of not making advances in AI and reveals how it’s poised to transform our lives. It will leave you more informed—and excited—about the revolution that’s already underway.