December 15 2002

 

M and I got married in October of 2002. Oct 10th to be precise. We drove to the courthouse in Fort Lauderdale to get hitched. I remember it was a weekday, the air was warm the sky was bright, a typical "fall" day in Florida. It was just the two of us when we got officially married, a random stranger was the official witness. We splurged and paid the extra $5 to get our picture taken. 

We had a wedding ceremony December 15th 2002. It was a small ceremony, conducted in Spanish at a  church in Margate FL. My aunt presided the ceremony.  A few close friends showed up. One friend from the Marines was there (you know who you are, thank you) a few friends from the University were there.  ( I had just completed the Fall Semester of '02, my fifth) M saw something in me and decided that I was her person. I wanted to live up to her expectations. I have fallen short of that, but I haven't stopped trying to be the person she deserves.  I still remember her walking down the aisle and her hands were shaking when we were at the altar. I remember the kiss at the end and walking into the cool December air. 

I don't want to say we are perfect, we are not. I want to say that I am lucky and that I am thankful for sharing my life with this woman. I am lucky and grateful that she made me a father, that she taught me how to be a good man. 

December 15th 2002 was a cool day for South Florida standards. I don't know the precise temps all I know is that it was deliciously cool. After the wedding we went to Embassy Suites on 17th Street causeway, we were so tired we literally crashed and went to sleep right away, the reception took all our energy.  The next day we drove to Orlando to Universal Studios FL for a one-day honeymoon. 

Less than one month later I would be back in active duty as an infantry sergeant in the 124th Infantry Regiment as a member of the Florida Army National Guard.  3 months after my wedding my unit got deployed to go to Iraq. I saw my wife again Dec 15th 2003 for two weeks of leave,  my deployment ended in March 2004 15 months total. 

I like to think that we had 3 honeymoons, the first one was that one day after the wedding that we went to Orlando. A year later we saw each other when I was granted leave from Combat, we flew to NYC for a few days. The real honeymoon though, what I consider our real honeymoon was a couple of months after I came back from Iraq. 

I don't remember exactly how the conversation went, but it must have gone like:

Me: "So I've never been to Epcot or MGM Studios"

M: "What?! no way, so you are telling me you have lived in Florida all this time and never been?"

Me: "that's correct"

M: "we need to fix that"

In the Spring of 2004 we went to every single Disney Park in the Orlando area. I think of that week as the real honeymoon, because our true life as a married couple started then. 

Anyway, if you are reading this, thank you for reading. Just wanted to share what's on my mind today. I don't want to give the impression that everyday is easy or great. I just want to say that I feel very lucky to have met such a wonderful woman. M is the best thing that has happened to me. 

-JV

Debunking the Myth of the Illegal Immigrant Crime Wave

 The myth that immigrants are more likely to commit violent crimes than native-born Americans is false and has been debunked by research again and again. The myth persist thanks to Fox News and right-wing politicians. 

Why does this myth persists? 

Number one is that propaganda works. There's numerous research done that people end up believing a lie after listening to it, over and over. It's called the Illusory Truth Effect  Violent crimes committed by people of color are over-represented in the media. The more you see it in the news the more you associate crime with immigration. Heck, this blog post probably will end up reinforcing the link. But what can I say? 

Number two fear of the "other" is human nature, blaming problems on a scape-goat, specially if the group you blame cannot fight back makes an useful diversion tool. Politicians use illegal immigrant crimes as a tool to get people outraged. GOP and right-wingers love to talk about crime rates when in fact crime has been at its lowest since the 90's (According to the FBI crime data) 

The incarceration rate of White US-Born people has been higher than Immigrants for the past 60 years:

Source 

Immigrants in general and Undocumented immigrants in particular come here to work and to escape really crappy conditions. Not to commit crimes. However, the media and politicians will make you think otherwise, let's face it, why let reality get in the way of a profitable fantasy? Fear of immigrants will get more views, and more views means more ad revenue,  scary stories of the brown rapist will get politicians elected it's such an easy racket. Who is going to stand up for the illegals? Who will Speak Up for them?  Democrats? 

Trip to London

 Just got back from London. 

It was a "quick" trip, but we packed a lot. We stayed in Victoria right behind Buckingham Palace. The king was pulling in the palace when we were getting dropped off from the airport. The place was okay. The rooms small, but the service was good. 

Thursday:

Arrive. Walk around Hyde Park, take the bus to the Jellycat Toy Shop. Apparently that's supposed to be a big thing, I had no idea until that day. Get some much-needed sleep. 

Friday 

Day Tour to Windsor, Stonehenge and Bath.  Saw the sights, our daughter and her boyfriend had not seen it. Babe and I did last time we were there, we liked the tour so much we did it again with them. 

Saturday 

Victoria and Albert Museum and then met up with my daughter's boyfriend's family. We walked around Harrods which was crowded but nice. Later that day we went to dinner at a famous Italian restaurant. 

Sunday 

Shakespeare's Globe guided tour. Our guide was quite funny made it interesting. The Globe is a replica of the theater where they would have shown the bard's plays. I bought a book about "how to read Shakespeare" so I look forward to that. 

We walked to Tower London (in the rain) and then went for afternoon tea. 

 

Monday

Borough Market in the morning. Then met up with Martha's friend from the internet! at London Bridge, talked, had lunch and then we walked from there to Covent Gardens. We did a lot of walking and some shopping. Later we did the Xmas Winter Wonderland. 

Tuesday 

Fly back. Left Tuesday at 1 PM London time, arrived Tuesday 3 PM Seattle time, so the trip took 2 hours :)

Conclusion:

So this was an action-packed short trip. Yet, I feel ready to get back to work. I read a few interesting books on the trip, so I'll post the review of those books on Goodreads. 

London is cold and rainy just like Seattle, it was big, full of lights, the energy gives me New York vibes with Victorian architecture. The accent is catchy, so I had to make an effort not to talk like Londoners because I cannot pull that off. 

I had a great time. Now back to work. 

-JV

It's just a joke right?

 "I was only joking, lighten up!"

"Why are you so fanatical"

"Calm down"

The other day I blocked another family member on FB after they posted a "joke" where the butt of the joke was a queer person. I am posting this to let you know that if I see that kind of crap on my social media timeline, I will call you out on it, then probably block you and report you. I know that I am not going to change people's minds anyway, but at least you will know that I don't tolerate that bullshit. 

If I doesn't change a person's mind, why do it?

I used to just let it go, and move on with my day, maybe make a mental note. I understand that people say stuff without meaning any harm. Of course people will complain about "being politically correct" and what not. I believe in every one's rights to say whatever they want to say, in the context of the law you should be able to say whatever you want to say, but just because something is legal, doesn't mean it's not fucked up. Technically, being a jackass is not illegal, you can be dumb as fuck and be within the bounds of the law. In the realms of the personal, I will not suffer bigots. I will not tolerate intolerance. Period. 

In my personal life I have boundaries and I will not have any bigots in my life. If you say something stupid near me I will call you out. It's that simple. 

I have to live everyday with the fear that some hateful incel with nothing better to do will attack my daughter just for existing. The stats for anit-trans hate crimes are on a10 year high in Tacoma WA 

The next administration campaigned on taking rights away from my daughter and people like her. Even if she were to keep her rights and be treated equally by law, I have to worry about her getting proper healtcare, about not-hired for a job, getting fired for no reason, and being under-paid. All these things are real concerns.  Since trans people are a minority, there aren't enough people out there fighting for trans rights, for right to exist and live their live in peace. 

So, fuck that, if I hear you make jokes about trans people then I will call you out. 

So here's are my reasons for calling people out on their transphobic BS

- Saying nothing implies approval. 

- Saying nothing helps the status quo

- Saying nothing teaches nothing

- Saying nothing makes me complacent

- Saying nothing normalizes anti-trans sentiments

- Saying something may help change someone's mind

- Saying something raises awareness. 

My Review of James by Percival Everett on GoodReads

James by Percival Everett
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I enjoyed reading this book. A lot.

I must confess that I was skeptical at first, I read "The Adventures oF Huckleberry Finn" a long time ago and I didn't want to change my perception of it.

I was hooked on the first pages.

So the original story follows Huck and Jim as they runaway and travel through the Mississippi in the middle of the 19th century south.

This novel is the same story told through the eyes of James, the runaway slave.

I don't know how the author manages to expose the brutalities of slavery while making it funny. He makes fun of racist white people, and he calls out how you have your obvious racists, but also the people who don't consider themselves racist, but, do nothing to change what's going on.

There's a lot to this book. It's well written, funny, it's deep, thought provoking. I hope many people get to read it.

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My review of "Ripe" by Sarah Rose Etter on GoodReads

Ripe by Sarah Rose Etter
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Cassie is a tech worker on the verge of a meltdown. Her job at a San Francisco Startup is sucking her soul. Her support system keeps her going, but that's not going well either. This is a dark, in-your face, novel about is about the life of a overworked tech worker in a tech town. It's also about a woman trying to get by in a world dominated by men. The effects of the Patriarchy and the casual, constant misogyny are big elements of the story as well. It's set in SF but could easily be Seattle.

There's a lot of themes and messages in this book that resonate with me. The biggest one is how the character notices the contrast between the unhoused people in the city next to extremely wealthy folks. People go about their business complaining that their employer-provided breakfast is not up to the standards while there are people outside their building living in tents and defecating on the street.
The author frames this as a class struggle, with rich corporation exploiting workers and Believers (the main character's co-workers) making it happen without noticing what they are doing.

This is not a feel-good story. I don't want to spoil the book for anyone reading this review who wants to read it. Cassie (the main character) has a ton of issues going on, I feel like the book could have go on for longer, but maybe it's a good thing to spare us the pain.

I will be thinking about Cassie for a long time.

Good Read

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