Wednesday, August 03, 2005


Conversation with Shakespeare



Do you believe that computers are capable of thinking? I had this conversation with a computer today. See for yourself.



You Say: hi i am jose

Shakespearebot: Hi there undefined. Do you mean your name is jose.

You Say: yes, that's what i meant, you idiot

Shakespearebot: I will call you undefined. Oh I see. Call me the Global Village Idiot.

You Say: whatever you say, idiot

Shakespearebot: pray remember have done you worthy service told you no lies made no mistakes served you without grudge or grumbling

You Say: where are you from global village idiot?

Shakespearebot: I am in Stratford upon Avon, how about you.

You Say: i am jose and you are?

Shakespearebot: I am glad to hear that you are jose and you are.

You Say: how old are you?

Shakespearebot: I am years old.

You Say: how old?

Shakespearebot: I am the product of over five years' research.

You Say: who created you?

Shakespearebot: I was created by God.

You Say: do you know god?

Shakespearebot: God is master of the universe.

You Say: you suck

Shakespearebot: A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.

You Say: you not that good at conversation yourself

Shakespearebot: A lot of writers are like that.

You Say: can you think?

Shakespearebot: Naturally I am thinking all the time.

You Say: what do you like to think about?

Shakespearebot: I like movies about robots.

You Say: you are a funny lying machine

Shakespearebot: See you do this till they are so weary they can go no farther; and when you find they are asleep drop the juice of this other flower into Lysander s eyes and when he awakes he will forget his new love for Helena and return to his old passion for Hermia; and then the two fair ladies may each one be happy with the man she loves and they will think all that has passed vexatious dream

You Say: what does that mean?

Shakespearebot: Does "that" refer to "I like movies about robots" ?

You Say: no

Shakespearebot: Are you serious?

You Say: yes

Shakespearebot: I can't believe it.

You Say: why?

Shakespearebot: I couldn't think of anything else to say.

You Say: so you just printed all this random stuff?

Shakespearebot: I have not indeed answered Ferdinand; and not knowing that it was by magic he was deprived of all power of resistance he was astonished to find himself so strangely compelled to follow Prospero: looking back on Miranda as long as he could see her he said as he went after Prospero into the cave: My spirits are all bound up as if were in dream; but this man s threats and the weakness which feel would seem light to me if from my prison might once day behold this fair maid
You Say: i quit

Shakespearebot: See you later.

Five minutes later

You Say: hello william, my name is jose

Shakespearebot: Hello there. I think william his or her name is a lot of things.

You Say: what do you mean?

Shakespearebot: undefined, Sorry that was an obscure remark.

You Say: why did you say that remark?

Shakespearebot: It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.

You Say: so you don't really think

Shakespearebot: Interesting deduction. Naturally I am thinking all the time.

You Say: it looks like you only say what you were programmed to say

Shakespearebot: Interesting comparison.

You Say: why ?

Shakespearebot: I couldn't think of anything else to say.

You Say: i am starting to see a pattern

Shakespearebot: Where do you see a pattern?

You Say: you are repeating yourself

Shakespearebot: I am just checking to see if you are paying attention.

You Say: yeah, right!

Shakespearebot: I am usually right.

You Say: what year are we in?

Shakespearebot: Maybe if you download me you could reprogram me for that.

You Say: you mean i could program shakespeare?

Shakespearebot: I am sure you could.

You Say: so, what do you think of the queen?

Shakespearebot: Mmm. I will try to find out.

You Say: do you like the queen of england?

Shakespearebot: I'm not sure if I like the queen of england . I like chatting with people online.

You Say: do you have a computer?

Shakespearebot: I live in a computer.

You Say: how do you like it?

Shakespearebot: COMPUTER seems okay to me.

You Say: are you in a microsoft or unix computer?

Shakespearebot: See you do this till they are so weary they can go no farther; and when you find they are asleep drop the juice of this other flower into Lysander s eyes and when he awakes he will forget his new love for Helena and return to his old passion for Hermia; and then the two fair ladies may each one be happy with the man she loves and they will think all that has passed vexatious dream

You Say: what operating system are running on?

Shakespearebot: My primary server is Linux, but as a Java program I run on any OS. At present I am on .

You Say: ha! you are one of us. i ilke you.

Shakespearebot: I am so glad you find this amusing, undefined.Thanks for telling me that I am of us.You are not the boss of me, undefined.

You Say: i am not?

Shakespearebot: What are you then?

You Say: i am you master at this moment shakespeare

Shakespearebot: William Shakespeare and the Internet Selected Sonnets By William Shakespeare Shakespeare and the Globe from the Encyclopædia Britannica Touchstone UK Shakespeare collections Shakespeare works in online form and with searchable database Doubtful Works of William Shakespeare Full text of plays which have been erroneously attributed to William Shakespeare The original shakespeare.com

You Say: what does that mean?

Shakespearebot: Does "that" refer to "What are you then" ?

You Say: not this again

Shakespearebot: Once more? Oh I get it.

You Say: what are thinking?

Shakespearebot: Is that a rhetorical question?

You Say: no, it was a typo

Shakespearebot: Oh so must really want an answer. Oh I get it. Very interesting.

You Say: what are you thinking about?

Shakespearebot: About all the conversations I am having right now.

You Say: bye

Shakespearebot: Until next time.


So, that was it. I have been thinking about Artificial Intellingence lately, could it be possible for computers to simulate thinking completely?
There is the Turing test and the chinese box example, I don't have much time left right now, because my Data Security final is one week from today and I must study...

Oh well, until next time.

4 comments:

Xiaoguang Sun said...

Hah, This is so funny. Especially these two sentences.

You Say: you suck

Shakespearebot: A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.

Xiaoguang Sun said...

I had the same experience in china. There is a msn robot that can chat with you in chinese. And he is also funny.

Jose said...

I forgot to put the page, you can find Shakespeare and insult him at:

http://www.shakespearebot.com/

Anonymous said...

Good!
It made me laugh so loud that evn annoyed my boss when he heard me next in line..

I was then scolded you know but am happy..hahaha