Personal Manifesto

It's Christmas night, late, I am tired from having an exhaustingly good day. It was so nice today that I can't stand to be awake anymore, yet, I feel compelled to share with the whole world my most personal thoughts, I will briefly attempt to describe the forces that drive my life, the principles that I attempt to live by.

But first, let me tell you about my day. Anthony woke us up at 5:45 AM, we opened our Christmas presents at 6:00, we had my sister, Chuck and my in-laws over for breakfast, I got a couple of good books, cologne and a shirt, the kids got a lot presents. I spent some time with my parents, went to the park, put the kids to bed (that was a battle), drank a shocktop beer, watched Benicio del Toro's CHE, which I highly recommend, if not for the battle scenes. Took a long bath and now that I am ready to go to bed, I got this feeling that I must write this post.


The number one principle in my life, it's quite simple and generic, but it's the most powerful thing, and I think it's what got me to where I am today, I am not sure but I believe this comes straight out of the USMC leadership manual:

"Know yourself and constantly seek self-improvement"


That is it my friends, that's my life in a nutshell, the rest it's just details.

Know yourself

As simple as this sounds, this is the most difficult thing I think. Sometimes it's easier to see other people's fault than our own. This takes personal honesty and courage. It's tough to face one's fears, to work on our weaknesses and to identify the areas in which one is best suited for.

constantly seek self-improvement

I try, and I try, sometimes I succeed, sometimes I take longer to succeed, occasionally I fail, I always make mistakes, but I never give up.



I think I started using this principle right after I went through a period of personal failures while I was in the second half of my enlistment in the Corps. I learned a lot about myself and about leadership from my own failures as a leader.


The second principle has been with me for a little while now, but only recently did it actually form as a concise sentence. I don't think it's original at all, I heard the same message on different formats all over the place, but here it is:

"To gain peace of mind, make sure your actions match your values"


This one is hard, because there are many factors that shape our own actions, This means that our values must be always present in our minds when we speak and when we do things, which is easier said than done.

The areas of my life that I wish to improve are the following:

1. My relationships with the people I care about.

Being a good Dad, husband, brother, son, and friend.
Not much to say here except that it's very personal and that I care about this the most. Nothing else matters iff I don't do this one right.

2. Emotional Intelligence and Social IQ

This is new one for me, I had developed this disdain for people who used "charm" or "people skills" to get their ways, I always saw that as manipulating and selfish, I have always been looking inward to get to know myself, but now I recognize that I need to understand other people in order to succeed in life, this is accomplished by developing a genuine interest in other people, by practicing Empathy, this is a challenge for me, I have always lived inside my own head sort of speak, and I really don't "get" other people, this has gotten me in trouble in the past, I've decided I will end this problem and become proficient in people skills, the good news is that I learned a lot about people in the service, now the hard part is to actually apply the knowledge.


3. My Craft, my Profession

This one I enjoy doing. I love Computer Engineering, and I am always trying to expand my horizons. I could write a 5 page blog spot on this topic alone. I am constantly reading about the craft and discovering ways to become a better Engineer. The Master's Degree, Programming books and blogs, practicing coding on my own, these are the things I've been doing to become better .

The art of computer programming is so rich, enthralling and exciting that I really enjoy improving this area, it's rewarding to have a profession that I love.


4. Handyman around the house

This I don't enjoy as much, but I recognize its necessity. I need to know how to maintain my house, repair appliances, dry wall, roofs and that stuff, I am not naturally inclined to do stuff with my hands, but it's a role that I must fulfill, so I might as well go all in, maybe I'll even have fun doing it.

So I think that is it. I have covered pretty much my whole life, at least the driving forces behind my actions. This is what keeps me busy.

I am glad

I am glad we have flood insurance.

I am glad we caught it early.

I am glad we have good neighbors.

I am glad the kids didn't wake up.

I am glad it the Christmas presents didn't get wet.

You might be wondering, wtf I am talking about, right?
Well, a couple of hours ago after watching a couple of Dexter episodes on netflix, we decided to call it a night. I went downstairs to get a glass of water, when I notice that hum...there's water all over the place, in the kitchen and the living room, to make a long story short, the empty townhouse next door was completely flooded and the waters was seeping over trough the wall, since our building has slight slant, it was going directly to us. I am glad that our neighbors across the street were kind enough to give a helping hand, we spent the last two hours cleaning up. But it's not so bad. Things will look better in the morning.

Avatar the Movie

I thought this was a great movie for multiple reasons. For starters, the Computer Animation was amazing. I really could not tell which parts were CG and which ones were actual camera-captured images. The jungle-planet Pandora looked suspiciously too much like the Amazon rain forest. The waterfalls looked almost exactly like the Angel Falls. In other words, this fils is pure visual candy all around. However, what I think made this movie interesting was the story line:

In the year 2154, the human race has a colony in a planet called Pandora. In this planet we have a mining operation run by some corporation and protected by an attachment of US Marines. The marines are there because of it's inhabitants, the novii

***EDIT***

I started writing a description of the plot but found a much better written one on wikipedia, here's the link

***END OF EDIT****

Anyway, the one thing that stuck with me about this movie, is the fact that a US Marine turned against his own people. I believe that this is a taboo in the culture of the Corps. In a culture where loyalty is given such high value treason is the ultimate sin, literally punishable by death (when done in the face of the enemy, yep it's in the UCMJ) . In this movie Justice is placed on a higher pedestal than loyalty to a group, something that I cannot really disagree with. Still, turning against your own group is so against the Marine ethos that I was a bit disturbed.

I wonder how other marines feel about this movie.

This movie made me think about the things I learned in the Marines, Some of it I see it as necessary things that one must learn in order to survive in battles and win wars. Attention to detail and self-discipline are obvious ones. But the marines have a different code that I believe set them apart, The Marine Corps places an acute emphasis on leadership, down to the lowest enlisted man up the chain to the Commandant all marines are taught the traits of a leader. We are also taught that there's nothing a Marine can't accomplish given a plan and determination. I have been taking all that for grated but I think it's a powerful message. Many people take that and make it work for them outside in the real world. Others completely miss the point and think the Marines is some sort of gun club fraternity, well, it probably is, but I decided to take away the intangibles and utilize it to get ahead. I am no longer in the Corps, but I will alway think of myself as a marine, I am not your typical jarhead, that's for sure, but I am still a marine at heart until the day that I die.

My Day Off

Finally I am taking a day off. No school work (well, a little, but not much) We're taking the kids to see a movie, I am reading the HItchhiker's guide to the Galaxy, and not much else. Earlier I was looking at the source code for the chrome browser, I am thinking about becoming a contributor. Funny thing is, I have no idea about how web browsers work. I have no knowledge of javascript or css, or any of that stuff, but I don't feel like these things are outside of my reach. Anyway, the crhome project has all the backing of google, it's well documented and it has a lot of support. I want to dabble in it and see what happens.

We'll see how that goes. I was looking into Iphone Apps earlier in the summer, but once the fall semester began it was hard to keep doing it. The problem is that in order to develop an app, (specially in the beginning when the learning curve is steep) I need to spend at least 4 or 5 uninterrupted hours to it. That's not that hard to do in the weekend if I am determined enough. But when I have lectures to watch, textbooks to read, homework to do, projects to write and so on, it's very hard to devote that much time to something else. Coding is not something that I can do 10 minutes at the time, worse yet, it's hard to start something when you know that you will have a lot of interruptions, like when I know I have to stop what I am doing in 20 minutes because of a meeting or some obligation, I can't concentrate. I wish I could do that, but in order for me to do math, write code, or write a blog post, the circumstances have to be JUST RIGHT. If they aren't, things don't come out quite right.

Anyway, I have to go, the movie starts in 40 minutes and we're not ready to go yet.

Be Good to Each Other.

J.V.

Nostalgia

I saw this picture and remembered so many different things about old friends, how different my view of the world was back then, how little did I know about things to come. In this picture I had no idea that in a year the whole world would be different, this is in Rota Spain in the fall of the year 2000, a year later 11 hijackers would have change the course of our Nation, two years later I would be married, 3 years later I would be in Iraq, and here we are, 9 years later, T. and I live in Florida, and I don't have frigging clue what's up with Ben E.

I am very satisfied with the way things turned out. In fact I am glad that things didn't go according to my plan back then. I wanted to go to the Naval Academy or to ROTC. I wanted to study law and someday be a bad ass General.

Today I consider myself a parent, husband, engineer and a civilian citizen, things I can't really do well in that environment. I love it now. I had a great time then, but it's not what I wanted out of life. I am glad I met all the demented people that you see in my facebook pic. I learned more from them than any of Marine Corps Schools I went to.

Dogfish Head Raison D'Etre

First of all, let it be known, that I don't drink that often at all, but when I do, I drink dos equis...just kidding, but seriously, I rarely drink alcohol, that explains why I am the biggest lightweight ever. A cheap date basically.

I have a friend who I admire a lot who is the biggest fan of wine, he knows all the wineries in Argentina where he is from, and for a while, (this was right after I graduated from FAU), I was trying to become a wine connoisseur myself, but there's one problem, I don't really like wine, and the wines I tasted pretty much tasted the same, well, not the same, but I felt like I was forcing myself to do something that was not me. It didn't feel like something naturally mine. Plus, I would taste a Merlot and a Pinno Noir or something I honestly could not taste the difference, then I would try a different Merlot and it would be something unlike the first Merlot I tried, at the end, I just don't like wine, and that's the fact. Do I have a point you ask? well yes, I do. My point is this: I do like Beer.

I never knew beers could be as complex and as appreciable as wine. It turns out, they go way back to the early days of civilization. Man knew about brews long before we knew about..I don't know things we found out within the last 3K years?

Having said all that, I must confess I am not cut out to be a food critic, I lack the fine palate that a lot of people have. I did a google search for dogfish head's Raison D'Etre, and what I found out impressed me. I kept reading all these things about raisins and cinnamon, and I got very excited, I have never tasted a beer like that! It even compared it to a good wine! So I took the plunge and dove in. These are my findings.

Appearance

This Beer is dark brown, it reminds me of..well, Mahogany, and that's what it says in the label, no surprise there. Actually, Dogfish knows it's market sector pretty well; they market themselves as "off-centered stuff for off-center people" you got that right!. The label for this beer is pretty good:
A deep mahogany ale brewed with Belgian beet sugars, green raisins & a sense of purpose
With a label like that I had to give it a chance.

Anyway, there isn't that much head in this brew, and whatever bubbles come up look very tiny, so I am expecting a crisp beer here.

Nose

This was the biggest disappointment. I was expecting to smell raisins, cinnamon, apple cider, Mahogany, but, it just smells like beer to me, a little malty, and maybe some sweetness, but that's all I could detect, so I guess my sense of smell is not as developed.

Taste

This beer tastes good. It's a little malty, not too bad. It leaves your mouth with a sweet aroma, maybe raisins? I like the India Pale Ales, I think my favorite beer is Sierra Nevada. This beer tastes nothing like an IPA, in fact, there's no trace of hops anywhere, however, I think it's pretty good. I don't know if my opinion is shaped by the fact that I have read so many good things about it. I may have been predisposed to like it just because of it's reputation. If I was given this beer blindly, I may be tempted to say no, but only because I prefer the taste of hoppy beers.

Conclusion

Do not drink this beer if you are a lightweight, and you have an empty stomach and have not had too much sleep! The 8% of Alcohol really kicked my ass! I was feeling a buzz after just one beer.

This beer is to be taken seriously. Good beer, but not my favorite. It does make my top ten.

J.V.

Flying Spaghetti Monster

Thanks a lot to Mark A. and Angie A. for blessing us with this great gift, an actual FSM tree topper!

I wish you all a noodly winter soltice!

J.V.

Black Friday

This morning I did something I thought I'd never do. Something that I've criticized in other people. I went to a store in the wee hours of the morning, stood in the cold waiting to buy a stupid gizmo. In this case it was a 32' HDTV for $246. Showed up at 0345 hrs and there was huge line already, I stood there overhearing conversations people were having around me, I was trying to read my book but could not help hearing about how this chick was trying to quit smoking and about how hard it was to fool her husband, who is a cop, I tried to butt in the conversation, but probably came across as the biggest creep, I don't care, I was just trying to be friendly. Anyway, finally the doors opened and people started rushing in, I wanted to get out with my dignity intact, so I did my best not to run to the Electronics section, once I got there I watched in panic as everyone was running in the opposite direction with the LCD TV's in hand, once I got the stash there were only like 3 left, I am not sure, but I think I may have grabbed someone's TV, but I didn't stop to make sure, by the time I had mine in hand, the TVs were all gone. Yes, at 05:03 there were none left. None.

I paid for the TV and went back to the store to see if I could find a $3 toaster or a good deal on an espresso machine, but no luck, everything else was marked up at a regular price, so I came home and went to sleep until the kids and the cats climbed into bed and woke us up.

Lesson learned: I don't think I will do this again, unless it's a really good deal and it's something I really wanted to get anyway. It's ok to try it once, however, people behave strangely when they are grouped into mobs. Crazy. Crazy.

Be Good to each other.

J.V.

Thanksgiving

I am thankful for having a great family and for having the pleasure of knowing so many amazing people. If you are reading this and we've shared a meal or a drink together that means I think you are an awesome person. Thank you.

I am thankful for every breath of air. Being alive is a great gift, as much suffering, struggle, and unfairness we have in life, it still beats being dead. I am not thankful for war, but I am thankful for the lessons I learned from that experience.

I am thankful for living. That is all.

What do I belive?

As an Atheist, every one knows what I don't believe in. But very few people know what my beliefs are. So I thought I'd take some time to spell it out.

I am in 100% agreement with Richard Carrier's essay "What an Atheist Ought to Stand For" there are some basic things that all atheist basically agree on

I. Inquiry and doubt are essential checks against deception, self-deception and errors

II. Logic and proper empirical method is the only way the whole world can arrive at an agreement on the truth about anything

III. It is better to be good to each other and to build on what we all agree to be true, than to insist that we all think alike

J.v.

n00b

I am trying to run and install NS-2 in my Linux box, one try this morning in Suse Linux and one try this afternoon in Ubuntu. Nothing is working so far. Frustrated.

Chicago

It's six in the morning in my hotel room. I am heading back home in a few minutes. I had a bitter sweet trip. It sucks that I couldn't bring Martha and the kids. She had to take the reigns all by herself.

I worked really long days here at the Motorola plant, but Friday night and yesterday I got to see Chicago.

My Friend Kamran and I visited a Turkish Restaurant in North Chicago, not far from Wrigley Field. We had a few DogHead Fish Beers. We watched the movie Infinity and had good conversation. The next day we went down to the University of Chicago in Hyde Park. I saw the gorgeous campus. The buildings look like they were built in the Middle Ages, for a minute you lose your sense of place, and forget that you are in the Midwest. I saw the historic site where Fermi did the first self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction. I ate at Medici's a local place where Obama was known to visit. We walked around the quad, and the botanical gardens and then headed to Jimmy's a locally famous dive bar. It was a good day.

School

Wireless Networks this semester. Looks Interesting.

iPhone

I have been spending a lot of time teaching myself Objective-C and the Cocoa environment. I plan on getting into the iPhone Apps business. We'll see how that goes.

Anyway, I got a plane to catch. Be good to each other.

J.V.

Oleta State Park

I used to think you had to be rich to enjoy the water here in Florida, but if you go to Oleta State Park, for a very reasonable fee you can rent canoes, Kayaks or Tandems and go out to the beautiful Florida inter-coastal. Just look at the view from the boat: (pic not taken by me)



I highly recommend it. Just don't flip the boat near sharp-edge rocks with two kids onboard, I'm just saying....

This has been one awesome, action-packed weekend, in the past 48 hours Martha and I:
-Hosted a Dinner,
-Hosted a Poker Game,
-Went Canoeing
-Flipped a Canoe
-Watched Two Movies
-Met with other parents from the FLASH parents group at Hollywood Circle
-Rode the bike through the neighborhood
-Almost got run over at State Rd 7.
-Installed a bike rack in the car
...and much more

Needless to say, we are a little tired, but I feel ready for next week, boy I am glad that the summer term course I am taking is not as demanding as the last three classes.

Anyway ya'll, just an update. Take Care of yourselves. Be good to each other.

J.V.

Saturday Morn

It's six in the morning, still tired, sleepy from staying up late the night before, (watching Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino) I hear sounds, what is that? The theme for Mickey's Clubhouse? wow, yes it is, I hear knocking on the door, is Anthony, and he is ready for a new day, next thing I know the bed gets overrun, Gaby, Anthony, the cat, Martha and I are crammed up, Anthony is constantly jumping, Martha is checking her email, and I am trying to squeeze another 15 minutes of sleep. It's futile, I wave the white flag and prepare for a brand new day.

There's so much to do, I have to pack for tomorrow's trip, I have a research paper, a midterm, homework questions and a programming assignment, not to mention the fact that we need to pick up around the house, do laundry, and watch Anthony while Martha goes to yet another baby-shower. So many babies that we know, must all our acquaintances have kids at the same time?

In any case, here I am, deciding what has priority, and I think I'd rather spend the day doing Fatherly stuff, I am going to miss Father's day, Martha's b-day, and a whole week of interaction that I am never going to get back. The school work can wait for my hotel room in Chicago. (well, it's Schaumburg to be precise)

Of Books and other Projects

Two weeks ago I finished reading "Journey through Genius, a history of Mathematical Masterpieces" a look a Mathematics's greatest theorems from a historian's perspective, it went over the lives of the world's most influential math masters, I was fascinated with the elegance of the greek's Geometry, the simplicity and genius of their proof. Archimedes proof of the Pythagoras Theorem is breathtaking. The amazing skills of Newton and Euler left me in startled. 500 years from now, our computing and communication technology will be obsolete but their theorems will still be sound and relevant. Math theorems are forever, we can always add to the knowledge but we can never make it obsolete.

Take Euclid's proof that there is an infinite number of Primes, he uses redutio ad absurdum.

1. Suppose that there exists a finite number of primes, and the largest prime is Pn.

2. Now take all the primes up to Pn and multiply them together and then add 1.
1 * 2 * 3 * 5 .......Pn + 1 = N

3. Now, this number N by construction, is either another prime or divisible by a prime number larger than Pn.

4. Q.E.D.

Thousands of years have passed since Euclid's time and nobody has been able to put a dent on his proof. It's simple, concise, elegant and pure genius. If you can appreciate that, then you can see why so many say that math is the language that god speaks. I don't know about all that, but it's the best language to describe natural phenomena and it's the best tool to model and understand our world, not to mention that it's beauty is captivating.

I have also been reading Bart Ehrman's books, Jesus, Interrupted, God's Problem and Misquoting Jesus, and studying the bible from a historical perspective. I am interested in knowing what's in the Bible. It's good to know the circumstances around it's many authors, the story of the people who wrote them and why it matters. I have learned a lot about the New Testament, things that you don't learn in Sunday school. I don't think that knowing about the Bible is necessarily a stumbling block for people of faith. Although it can open up the doors for more doubts. It'll let that be for now.

I have so many side projects that I have started and left open...

***Breaking****
Just found out Gaby has a 100.4F temperature, so I have to go to deal with that. No worries, I am sure she's going to be fine, but I am going to have to cut this short.

Be good to each other.

J.V.

Bicycle

When I was ten years old, on Christmas day I woke up to the best Christmas gift of my entire life. As soon as I opened my eyes, there was the nicest bike, right in my room! From then on, I would spend my days after school riding around Barcelona, that's how I remember my childhood, racing my buddies, going places too far for my parent's comfort, I would head out there, just myself and the bike, and I would savor the day, feel the hot breeze of the Venezuelan East Side, I would stay in the sidewalk the whole time, but the rides could always be dangerous, there's no such thing as a pedestrian right of way down there, and I almost got hit many times, but I learned to be careful, to be alert on the road. When you are riding a bike it's the exact opposite of patrolling in the infantry, the key is to be seen. So I would make sure that I was in nobody's blind spot.

I liked to ride so much because it gave me time to think about stuff, I would ponder upon the things that seemed so important back then, plans for the future, questions about life, about school, friends, later about girls that I never had the courage to speak to. I remember the last time I rode the bike in my town, I knew I was about to come to the United States and I was conscious of the fact that this would be the last time I would see my neighborhood like this, I tried my best to take a mental snapshot of the park I used to ride trough, my park, it was basically a wide sidewalk lining up the main avenue that connects Barcelona to Puerto La Cruz. I don't remember what else I did that day, all I can recall is how it felt, to know that life was changing, to be aware that after that day things will never be the same. It hasn't.


Today, I rode a bike again, not trough the old park of my childhood, but trough my current neighborhood. Today was one of those nasty hot muggy Florida Summer days, the thunderstorm clouds lurking nearby, threating with rain and lighting, the multitude of little bugs hitting my eyes, the fiery hot air that burns my lungs. Sweat sticking to my shirt, and I am loving it, I traverse all the streets in my block, looking at all the houses, all the palm trees, mango trees, the local dogs, rednecks working on their cars, teenagers hanging around, people fishing in the canals, (will they eat whatever they catch?) I ride around, feeling like I am twelve again, I swear I must have been smiling the whole time, although I am sure I must have swallowed a bug or two.

I think I am going to do this more often.

J.V.

Chicago

I'm in Schaumburg IL, in a work-related trip to the Mother Ship (Company Headquarters)thankfully, work has been uneventful, which means things are going according to plan. It's interesting to see other sides of the business doing their thing. I am at one of the factories doing some quality control work, actually, my job is to standby, in case a major catastrophe or something comes up. The thing about that is that I am there representing my whole department. People here are not shy to tell me their opinion of the Development team from Florida. I think it's natural, because the feeling of love is mutual. Other than that, I am having a good time. I kind of like Chicago, it seems like NYC with a Mid West mentality. Everywhere you look there are people with Cub's shirts, hats, etc, and you can't help but to smile and sympathize, for a city that still loves their baseball team after 100 losing seasons can't be all that bad.

The only thing missing is Martha and the kids. I know they would love it here, the weather is nice, and there are a lot of things to do here. It's too bad they could not make it. In the other hand, it's nice to wake up in a quiet room. Lately I've been starting the day with a hyper three year old and two cranky women, one is two and the other 24, they both act the same in the morning. The funny thing is, I can't live without any of them.

Well, it's time to go to work.

J.V.

The Curious Case of The disappearing Milk Bottle

This morning we lost a milk bottle. It must be in the same place where all the odd socks go.

There's not much of a story, really, the last time I saw the bottle was this morning after the kids got out of bed, we have one for each child. Gaby was asking for milk so I took one down to fill it up, when I came back upstairs to get the second one it was gone. Just like that. I thought, no big deal it probably rolled under the bed or something. So I started to look for it. It's been 12 hours, we turned every piece of furniture, searched every imaginable place, questioned each other's sanity, integrity and method of birth, (not really, actually it has been a civil search, it's amusing really) but we have not found the bottle. The mystery remains to be solved. It has to turn up eventually, I can't wait to find out where the thing is. I am not sure I am going to be able to sleep soundly until the bottle turns up.

J.V.

I am still around

I just have not had the chance to write. It's hard to find the time to write something worth reading. Personally I am good. I am glad I could pass Digital Comm. That class was very tough. However, I liked it. I feel more drawn towards mathematics. I just have to accept the fact that there is so much to learn. Of all the skills that can be learned in my profession, I believe that math is the more valuable, it's something that will never go out of date.

Anyway, I'd rather not write at all than to publish a bunch of non-coherent rant, so I am cutting it short for now. Maybe I'll get a chance to write later.

J.V.

Stress can take the joy away from anything

I truly enjoy figuring out how things work. That's why I am in grad school, I find all of mathematics fascinating, elegant and beautiful...(just like my wife). However, It has been difficult for me, I keep taking these test where the problems that are given to me take me by surprise. There's nothing more discouraging that sitting in a test with a question you have no idea how to answer, not even how to begin to approach the problem. Somehow, that hasn't stopped me from trying. In this grueling process, I have learned a thing or two here and there. Here's what I'd like to share.

You don't know crap until you've done it

That's true, Anyone can read and memorize technical jargon until they are blue in the face, but to really know something, you have to put it in practice. You can't become a good runner without running. You can learn all you want about painting, but nobody can call themselves a painter until you actually paint something. Same thing with engineering, you have to put things together, try things out, make it work, and then the theory solidifies in your head.

Grades don't really mean crap

Ok, it's funny that I say that now that I am no longer getting good grades, but it's true. Yeah, I used to get good grades in my undergrad, but I wasn't trying to get an A, I was really trying to get to know the subject. I knew people who would try to do just enough to get the grade, and not more, any "wasted" effort learning something that wasn't necessary to get a good grade on the class was in their eyes, an inefficiency, the whole point was to get the degree so they could check that box. I, in the other hand, became thrilled when I realized how much there is to know about computers. I had to work hard for the grades, but usually the more effort I put in a class, the easier it was to get an A.

Not Anymore.

These days I study, I memorize, I read, I try to comprehend, but there's so much material, and it's all so new, I feel I've met my limit, however, I am not defeated, I will keep going. I will not give up. I am trying new things, for example, (and this may sound obvious) but I am going to try to concentrate on solving problems, practice, practice, practice. Also, I am going to try this thing I heard somewhere, I am going to try to write all the theory concepts in my own words, that way it forces my brain to process it. It's tough to do with the abstract math, but it helps.

Anyway, I have to go now, Gotta help pick up the house we have visitors coming.

Later ya'll.

Be good to each other.

J.V.

Academic Battle

I have been trying to learn a brand new professional skill for the past 12 months. It's called Digital Signal Processing. About this time last year I made the decision to focus my Master's Degree on Electrical Engineering as opposed to Computer Science. Ironically, that decision was based on the assumption that a degree in C.S. would be too much work (because of the programming assignments) and that DSP would be easier because it's math based, after all, how hard can the math be?

Well my friends, on retrospect I could welcome programming projects, I have been reviewing and learning math, math, math for the past 12 months. I think I am finally getting it, but only because of rote determination, by the sheer power of my fear of failure, I have been spending my evenings and weekends trying to know, and understand the material in the books pictured above.

From Calculus I am reviewing Integrals: Integration by parts, the number e and its properties, logarithms and logarithmic functions, Taylor Series, Fourier Series, Power Series, Trig identities.

From Signals and Systems I had to teach myself the Convolution Integral, something that I never saw my undergrad and something that was truly meant for computers to calculate, I don't know how on earth mathematicians knew these things before the age of electronics. Kudos to them.

From Probability and Random processes I realized that I am a math chump, an inferior being who can't grasp the simple concepts of combinations and permutations, who has trouble setting up probability densities and distributions. Random variables, Random functions, Random sequences and Random processes nearly took my sanity away last semester.

This semester looks more promising, since we use all the math in the foundation subjects to apply them and come up with working systems that transmit and receive information using electromagnetic fields, binary or M-ary signals. We learn about the signal to Noise ratio necessary to have a low probability of error. It's kind of rewarding to see how all the material comes together to make something do useful work. I never thought so much about something we take for granted on a daily basis. We expect cell phones to work, our laptops to get flawless wi-fi signals, our long distance phone calls to sound crisp and instantaneous. Behind all these things there were industrious engineers making things happen.

So I have been studying. I take a break every now and then, but I can't think of much else, just the family, the job, and the math.

I am glad I took this break though, after this a little more work and then put the kids to bed, and watch a movie with my lady.

Be good to each other guys.

J.V.

SHIT

Venezuela is going to be the next Cuba. It's really upsetting. Well, they chose that path, let's see where it leads them. Oh well. I am glad our family is here.

J.V.

Busy Week

Last week was non-stop craziness. Hopefully things will get back to a slower pace now. School is finally picking up, Work has been ramped up for a while now. I've also made new commitments that I feel are important. So as a result, now new post this week. No worries, I'll be back soon. I always come back.

Take care. Thanks for reading.

J.V.

25 Random Things about me

I got hit by the meme in facebook, and, I don't know, it seemed like a good idea at the time. I thought I'd reproduce it here.


1. Deep down, I am just a curious person. I love to learn things just for the fun of it.
2. I am the definition of a nerd, dork, etc. etc.
3. When I was a kid, I was very shy.
4. I love books, baseball and science.
5. I used to think I was good a Math until I got to Calculus.
6. Computers fascinate me.
7. I have an awesome family
8. I never thought I could love my kids as much as I do.
9. I still feel like a kid.
10. I love Spanish food.
11. I must have spent 20% of my childhood riding a bicycle.
12. At the age of 12, I started reading Stephen King novels.
13. I was born and raised in Venezuela, lived there until I was 13.
14. I learned English by watching T.V.
15. My middle name is Ali.
16. I don't like Sea Food.
17. I love Italian food. Specially lasagna.
18. I put my foot in my mouth a lot.
19. I still drive my first car, and after ten years, can't find a reason to get rid of it.
20. Thanks to the Marines, I have been to more countries than states.
21. I have been to 14 states.
22. I love to travel.
23. I honestly and silently admire my son's courage (At 3, he has more balls than most adults I know)
24. I love math, but math doesn't love me back.
25. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a baseball player and a Pastor/Missionary in the off season.

Gustavo Duarte's Blog

Software, Computer and Business.
A new favorite. Where I can find good engineering articles and technical essays written in an easy-to-digest way. The articles are like Coding Horror's, but with more meat in them.

I got lured in with "Anatomy of a Program in Memory" a detailed description of stack, heap, and bss space in memory, something that I had to learn the hard way, (finding and fixing mysterious bugs) it was finally laid out and explained away.

The article that got me hooked to the blog was "Lucky to be a Programmer" which is something I can relate to.

I don't know much about who this Gustavo dude is, what exactly it is that he does, the only thing it says in his profile is that he works in Colorado. Secret Government Agent? Nah, probably AMD, or Intel. There's too few software engineers that are that familiar with hardware. My guess it's that he's a processor designer.

Enjoy.

J.V.

Miami Heat Game

Low Bowl Seats at the AA arena: $66

Parking: $10

Cotton Candy for Anthony: $5.75

Spending quality time with my son: priceless.

I wasn't planning on taking Anthony to the game since I thought he was too young to enjoy it. But he behaved surprisingly well. Plus we enjoyed watching the Heat explode in the third quarter, I think Wade made the best play of the year tonight. I have no words to express the sweetness of the slam dunk he pulled. When I find the youtube video I'll post it.

Good Times, Good Times.

****EDIT*******

Here's the video, you could see me high-fiving Wade right after...well, not really, but still, it was awesome, the fans went wild right after this.




J.V.

Something deep to think about

Kevin Kelly, executive editor from wired magazine gave an interesting talk on TED. It's titled "Predicting the next 5000 days of the web".

He mentions that the web as we know, it's only 5000 days old. It started by linking computers (in the old days), then it evolved to liking pages, but what's next?

I don't want to spoil it, but it has to do with A.I. and consciousness.

I couldn't help to think that Isaac's Asimov's fantasy, is going to become true.

Cool Visualization

I've always wondered how the zip code system worked. So did this guy, and thanks to him, it's easy, simple and beautiful. Good job dude.

It was done using Processing, a programming language used to visualize data.

Gotta love'em interwebs.

J.V.

Thank you.

Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America

I was just at the lobby of the office building where I work, where I saw this ad playing in the big screen.



This was touching, because for some reason, that's exactly how it feels when you are back from a long deployment. I felt so alone even though I was surrounded by people who love me and care about me. When I saw what was happening I decided not to let the war define who I am. I made myself a promise, that I would move on to the next stage of my life. But I was lucky because I have an awesome support system, and I had some goals set in stone that helped me keep my mind off the past. It also helps that I blogged about those experiences here in this blog.

However, there are times when you need more than that. I am thankful to the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America for having this website. I sincerely thank you because I know there are some out there that can use your help. Veterans sometimes come with invisible injuries that must be treated.

Busy Weekend

This weekend I will be:

1. Moving furniture for a friend.
2. Working overtime.
3. Studying Maximum Likelihood Decision Rules and Maximum A Priory Detection Probability for my Dig. Comm. Class. (Joy!)
4. Spending quality time with the Monkeys.

The last one will not be a chore at all. The kids are at that age when they are actually fun to be around. They are not as helpless as babies, but they still have uncomplicated behavior. (unlike older kids)

So it's really easy to have a good time, just go to a park and let them run wild.

Anyway, that's all for now. Be good.

J.V.

Military Justice

I saw this article in the news today. The headline reads "Marine Jailed for Sex with Widow".

It's a short, very sad story. Recruiter gets a kids fresh out of high school in the Marines, kid goes to Iraq. Kid dies. Recruiter sleeps with the kid's wife. Pretty screwed up right?

If you get technical about it, the kid was already dead. And there was no adultery. In a civil court, (if adultery were to be a crime, which I don't think it is) the case would have been thrown out.

Not in the military. There's a widely practiced thing called "making an example out of you". I looked up Article 134 of the UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice) and the definition of Adultery is vague enough to include the behavior of our Casanova recruiter.

Conduct prejudicial to good order and discipline or of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces. To constitute an offense under the UCMJ, the adulterous conduct must either be directly prejudicial to good order and discipline or service discrediting.

So that's what happens if you mess around. The story doesn't say how this came about, did the widow complain afterwards? I wonder how does she feel right now? Was the Marine Corps too harsh on the recruiter? Should the widow share some of the blame? Does all of this even matter since the kid is not even alive anymore?

So Sad. Damn.


J.V.

Trivial fact about my self

You know how sometimes you could have a song stuck in your head?

Well, I spent all 13 weeks of Marine Corps Boot Camp with the song Swallowed by BUSH stuck in my head.


And for the whole second half of my tour in Iraq, I was singing Bonito, by Jarabe de Palo.

J.V.

It is NOT good to be a Gator

Ok, I need to calm down, I know. I am really upset.

one.

two.

three.

four.

five.

six.

seven.

eight.

nine.

ten.

Ok, better now.

I applied for a private, student loan last September, not a Grant, not a subsidized loan, it was a private loan. It was between me and my lender. They told me they had everything they needed from me, that they were waiting for my University "to confirm my status".

My employer reimburses me, but I have pay tuition first. UF got my application months ago, but did not bother to inform me that they were not planning on approving the loan until I finally got to speak to someone today. Today, after tuition was due last week, two weeks before I get dis-enrolled for not being able to pay tuition.

Is not like I was cavalier about it. I called the financial aid office numerous times, asking what was going on with my money, NOT ONE PERSON COULD TELL ME what was going on until today.

The reason for denying my loan? Bad Credit? Nope. Information missing? NOPE, They are a bunch of retards? no, I don't think so, even though it's debatable.
It's because I am only taking 3 credits, so I am not a full time student, so therefore, I must not need the money. Thanks for telling me in advance, UF.

/*******EDIT***********/
I feel better now.
Ahh, the therapeutic powers of blogging.

J.V.

Tomorrow

So much free time, don't know what to do

I've got an extra free day today and I don't know what would be the best way to spend it. I've got good quality time with my family, I am covered when it comes to school (but I could always be doing doing SOMETHING with school) there are many side project that I'd like to partake. And of course, I could write a deep, meaningful blog post.

I think I am just going to relax.

Good Bye President Bush

I am sad to see him go. Well, not really. A lot of my friends think I hate him. I don't.
Being president is a tough job, It is something I wouldn't want to do. It's too much stress to have so much power and be under scrutiny all the time.

There are many things that he did wrong. But he also did some good things in Africa, I've heard.

I think the economist did a good job of analyzing the Bush years.

The thing with me, is that when he said there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, I believed him, when he said that we were going to find Osama Bin Laden, I thought that would be our top priority.

 When I was sent to Iraq, I thought we had a plan. I had a hard time in Iraq because I thought we were doing the Iraqi people a service by getting rid of a terrible dictator. But when I see that we are not welcome there, I have a hard time thinking that we are the good guys in that story. Of course I know things are more complicated than that., I understand. Bottomline I was lied to. I went to war for the wrong reasons.

 I hope Iraq turns itself around, with or without our help. Bush seems to think that in long run he will be recognized as the president that did the right thing. We will see about that. I don't blame him for the economy, or the gas prices, but I can't forgive how his leadership tarnished the image of American servicemen. Once that happened, I became more and more critical of his rhetoric and I stopped supporting him. 

 There are so many things that can be said about him, but I will let the historians and the press do that. I try to be objective when forming my opinions, I don't think he's a bad person or that he's as dumb as he sounds. I wonder about his character, but that's not for me to judge. I hope the Republican Party changes direction, the neoconservatives have self-destructed. A little advice: Palin is not the answer.

Oh well, what really matters is that things will change now with this new president. Right?....Right?

An unanswered important question

So the Middle East is in turmoil. Surprise! Who would have thought! I have a hard time deciding who I dislike the most. A terrorist organization that kills innocent civilians, or Hamas. I really can't side with an organization that has no respect for human lives. I understand the reality and the complexity of the situation, I just can't sympathize with any side. I am really divided over this. Deep down, I think Hamas is wrong, but Israel can't win my affection for this.

Now, while I was trying to argue this issue with a friend, an important question came up. How should a Country deal with terrorism? What is a State supposed to do when a non-government group decides to launch un-conventional warfare on its citizens? Peru dealt with Sendero Luminoso by crushing them like cockroaches, they caught his leader, and displayed him in a cage like an animal. But that brings other issues, I can't get to deep into it right now, but my point is that I don't think the means justifies the end. But I can't think of a way to solve this. What would be the best remedy?

CWE/SANS Top 23 Most Dangerous Programming Mistakes

Thanks to CodingHorror For posting it at his site. This list deserves the attention of all software developers. The errors are very common indeed.

Good night.

Bad ass Mathematician from back in the day

Augustin-Luis Cauchy(1789-1857)

It's interesting to learn how the great minds of the past came up with the ideas that are still relevant today. Among these is Augustin Cauchy, who gave rigor to Calculus.

How in the world was Calculus invented?


If you are interested in this question
Who gave You the Epsilon? Cauchy and the Origins of Rigorous Calculus (pdf) by Judith V. Grabiner gives a good answer to that.

This is what I am reading

Thomas L. Friedman: Hot, Flat, and Crowded.



I've been a fan of Tom Friedman since I had to read from Jerusalem to Beirut. I like the way he explains complex situations in everyday words. I am halfway trough and it's very insightful. In summary, Global Warming, Globalization and Overpopulation are issues that need to get addressed. Now. It urges Americans to take the lead in developing and adopting innovative ways of producing clean energy. I hope the upcoming administration has someone in their payroll who read this book.


Socrates Cafe



I've had this book for a while. In fact, I bought it right before deploying to Iraq, and didn't like it then, but I started to read it again, and it's growing on me. It's about this guy who goes around and sets up these meetings or "socrates cafe's" in order to get regular people engaged in philosophical discourse. I am taking my time with it.


First things First



This one is for personal growth. It's about how to prioritize things and get things done according to importance. It's very good. It has made me look at myself and all the roles I play in my life. However, I feel stressed every time I read a chapter. Because there are so many things that are important to me, I don't have time to do all of them. One thing though, I am making an effort to stay healthy, because I can't afford to procrastinate with that one. So I am making the effort to not over eat, to work out at least 3 times a week, and to take care of my overall health.

Digital Communications



This one is for school. It's for a class with the same name. Very interesting stuff. It deals with the very bottom of all the communication layers. The physical channel. This deals with the problem of sending and receiving information reliably. When you talk on the phone, send an email, watch a video on youtube. Information is traveling through many channels and making it to your device in a way that appears seamless. In reality, that information travels through wires and in the air as electrical signals. All of this is realized with information translated to binary form. It's all zero's and ones. This course deals with channel coding. Meaning how information gets across the physical layer (trough free air, copper lines, water, bouncing off walls, going through your flesh, etc, etc.


and more...

It usually takes 4 or 5 lectures until I lose the prof, but I this time I broke the record, by the second lecture I was lost. The truth is, I suck at math. Well, not really, I love math, but math does not love me. Like any love story, my relationship with math is filled with joyous moments and painful heartbreaking. I used to think I was doing good, then calculus came along and ruined forever. Last night though I started reviewing all the math I took at my undergrad, well, not all, but most, I took out my calculus, differential equations, Linear Systems, and Probability for Signal processing, I meant to do a quick glance at all the chapters so I can refresh all that information, and to get in the math mindset, I fulfilled the latter but not the former. I got stuck in CH1 of Calculus, looking at limits, I remembered, I don't think I ever really got what calculus is about, even after 3 semesters, I was so worried about passing the class, I didn't stop to think about it. Last night I started reading each paragraph and each formula, graph and explanation carefully, and then suddenly I was struck by how beautiful and elegant and mathematical proof is. Reminded me of a mathematician's apology.

Best.Customer Review. Ever.

Ever had a hard time opening those hard ass plastic packages? This guy did too, and lived to write about it in Amazon.com

GO FLORIDA!!!!!!

It's good to be a Gator.

J.V.

Back to the daily grind

It's nice to be back after a vacation with the fam.

I have been doing some thinking, and some reading as well. I am refining my goals and trying to sort out what's important to me. And I have some goals, I really don't want to say that these are "resolutions" because to me resolutions are always meant to be broken. I have done some thinking, and I want to prioritize some things.

My Priorities

I don't think anyone lies in their deathbed and wishes they spent more time in the office, so I plan to make more time for the people that matter to me the most. I want to spend more time with my kids, I want to watch them grow into good people. I would like to work on my personal relationships on not lose sight of that. It's very easy to do. In the name of providing for a family to forget why we are doing this in the first place. That's all I am going to write about that here. I don't like to make all of that public. All ya'll need to know is that I love my family more than anything.

Be a leader in my profession

Besides doing, you know, my job, I want to become a leader in my field, this is a tall order since Computer Engineering is filled with brilliant minds. But I want to contribute to the collective knowledge of the software community. I need to find a cause, a problem to solve, a new invention, or some way to make a contribution.

This is going to be hard because just doing my day-to-day job is consuming. Writing quality software takes a lot of work. But I do not want to be another mediocre engineer The good is the enemy of the best, and I would hate to be an average worker, I'd rather not do anything than to do an average job.

Being Creative

This ties in to the last goal, the thing is, I am the type of person who likes to take stuff in, I like to read, to analyze, to criticize, to understand, but I don't usually create things. I don't invent things, well, not usually, at work I get told what the end goal is and I make it happen in the code. But being creative involves visualizing the thing you want to create and then realizing it. I don't usually do that and I want to. This blog is one of the first things that really stem from my creativity, and I don't want to give up on it.

I'd like to write down the thoughts that come to my head, but I can think faster than I can type, so by the time I write it down, I always end up deleting it, because I hesitate.

However, I'd like to start with some short essays and eventually work my way up to a book. The thing is, I just don't know what the book will be about if I don't have anything that will inspire me to write. Probably technical stuff.

Work for a good cause

I know I am sounding really vague up to know, I want to invent something but I don't know what, I want to write a book and I don't know what I will be about, and I want to help a good cause, I just have not chosen one yet, but there are many good ways to give back to the community, I want to pick something that will make a difference in people's lives, I want to do something to help low-income students become interested in science and math, but there are so many other good things out there, like solving world hunger, genocide, diseases, I guess is better to think globally and act locally. Therefore, it will be something to help out people in the South Florida Area.

Take better care of my health

Ok, I've put on a few pounds since I got out of the reserves, and it's not too bad yet, but when I have my aunt in Venezuela urging me to lose weight I know it's time to do something. So I want to lose 20 lbs by my 30th Birthday, seriously, I am tired of being overweight, I just feel all nasty and I think about how I could get sick with heart disease and I just don't want to check out early, if you know what I mean. Therefore, I am going to work out at least 3 times a week. This one will be hard to do as I already have some many things to do. So many roles I have to fill. Husband, Father, Home Manager, Grad Student, Engineer, Creator, Blogger, friend, community member, etc. etc. But it would be stupid for me, not to do it.

Anyway, these are my resolutions for 2009 however, these are things I want to keep doing for the rest of my life. It will take some effort, but I can be done.

Take Care.

J.V.

Vacation, day 7

If you are the type of person who likes museums and monuments, then Washington D.C. is the place for you. I think they must have 10% of the world's marble here. There's so much to see here I don't think it's even possible to try.

Today we visited Arlington National Cemetery. The place is huge. It's sobering to see all those tombs, although not every person that's buried there was a serviceman that died in battle, there's a lot of Generals, military spouses and their children. I wonder what are the guidelines to be buried there. I saw quite a few low-ranking people who died of old age and were buried there.

The changing of the guard was interesting. I don't know but, military shows don't really impress me that much anymore. I just didn't feel that impressed. I still feel respect for those buried there, but I could not wait to go somewhere else. I also wanted to see where the Iraqi veterans were being buried, but since I don't know anyone that's buried there, I felt it was none of my business.

One place in D.C. that moved to tears (yeah, I cried) was the Holocaust Memorial. I couldn't believe what human beings are capable of. It's something worth seeing, we need to be conscious about these things. They do a good job of showing you and making you think about the horrors.

It's very ironic that walking out of the museum I saw the front page of today's Washington Post, and this story was there. What a crazy sad world we live in.

I still have hope though, we will be better than this in the future.

Anyway, I better get back to my "vacation", Don't get me wrong, it's very nice, there are some things that I have to get used to. I'm my daily life we put the kids to bed at around 8:00 PM and then Martha and I have the house to ourselves to take care of household chores, watch some T.V. and/or study. Now we're all crammed in one single hotel room, and we don't get a break from the kids. They won't go to sleep until all the lights are off and the T.V.s and everything is turned off, so we have to watch them. They are still too young to be left unsupervised, leave them alone for two minutes and you can have the freaking building on fire or something. (yes, they are that hyper) anyway. I must go now. More later.

J.V.

The Soul of a new Machine

My Christmas gift this year is a book about Computer Chip Engineers back in the day. (Late 70's) This book describes the struggle a team from Data General goes trhough to get a project "out the door". It is probably the best documented Computer Project of its day.

It is funny to see that even though the field is constantly changing with new technologies, companies come and go, other things remain unchanged. Pardon the cliche, but I am having a good time seeing my profession through the eyes of a journalist. Even though it's not a technical book, it describes a lot of detail of the computer Engineering profession in layman's terms. Great Holiday read.

Bad ass book I look forward to reading

There are a lot of books out there about the War on Terrorism (Iraq, Afghanistan, etc) But I don't think there's anything as well written as this. So far I've heard good things about it, so when I saw it at a bookstore, I stared reading the first couple of chapters, it starts with a pretty vivid description of the Marines in battle in Fallujah 2004. The narrative takes you there. It's amazing. I won't write anymore until I get it and read it. But if you have read it, let me know what you think.


J.V.

Trip Up North

We drove today, we drove and drove until we got snow. I was going to write a long post about how awesome it was. But after uploading the pictures to facebook I am too tired to write. Just enjoy a sample pic.

The Smithsonian rocks!

Man, did I love it! Today I went to the Museum of Natural History and the Aviation and Aerospace Museum and it was great! I felt like a kid again. If I would have come here when I was 13, my head would have probably exploded of hyper-excitement.

Dreaming of a White Christmas

So tomorrow is looking like a combination of Miracle on 34th Street and the movie Twister, we have searched the weather channel and found that some little town in Pennsylvania is expecting snow in the morning. We are going to drive out there. We will get on the car, listen to the weather, and find the snow!

Yeah, I know, we are crazy. It's all for the children. ;=)

Anyway, I am pretty tired, I am being lazy and I didn't put up the pictures we took. Just imagine D.C. in its winterly glory.

J.V.

Day One: Smithsonian Museum

Today we are going to the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. I've heard lots of good things about the place. I hope the kids like it.

It's raining today, it's not as cold as yesterday, but I don't think I want to be outside taking pictures. It's seven in the morning and the sun is not even out yet.

Arrival at Washington D.C.

We made it. Got here 30 minutes ago. The last 20 miles was bumper to bumper traffic. What's up with that? Aren't all the government workers home for the holidays? Anyway, life is good, we're hungry, tired, excited, happy and grumpy at the same time. The kids are doing ok as well. They've discovered the joys of riding an elevator, and riding in that thing they have in hotels to put your luggage. They take pleasure in the little things. There's nothing wrong with being a kid when it comes to that. It takes so much to please an adult, you know? Like a whole elaborate trip to the nation's capital ;-)

Anyway, we are liking the weather, it's out of the ordinary. Well, I got to go and get situated.

So long.

J.V.

YES!!!

Just found out I passed my Noise in Linear System class. I got a B. I was shooting for an A, but given how hard the exams were and how much I struggled with all the homework, I am pretty satisfied with the B. I am glad all that effort paid off. The vacation feels that much better now.

About the vacation

I am in a hotel room in Wilson, North Carolina, the kids are still sleeping, and we're about to get ready to go. We have about four more hours of driving until we get to D.C.

Anthony just woke up. Scratch the part about the kids sleeping. The kids have been doing good this vacation. Gaby got a little fuzzy last night in her car seat, but I can't blame her, because after being in the car for 12 hours I was the same way, but I wasn't the one crying on top of lungs. Other than that, they have been remarkably well behaved. I hope I am not speaking too soon.

Did I mention that it's cold as hell? Last night the car thermometer read 28 degrees F. We hope we get to see snow this trip. The kids really want to see it. Well, at least I know that Anthony does. I don't know what Gaby wants yet. She seemed just happy when she was eating.

Well, I got to go get some breakfast in the lobby. Hope ya'll are doing good. I am heading towards the Nation's capital.

Peace out.

J.V.

We've escaped Florida

I am not sure how far I am from Virginia, all I know, is that it's colder than your usual Floridian evening. Life is good.

J.V.

It's vacation time!

Yes! I am finally done with school for now. And we have two weeks for vacation. You'd think we would chill out, and relax for a while, but that's not how we do it in the Villalta's. Instead, We are going on a road trip to Washington D.C.!

You might ask yourself, why? And the answer is: "just because". We always wanted to go there, that's all. We want to see all the museums, the monuments, the marine barracks (ok, the last one was my idea), the library of congress, experience some cool weather, and get away from it all. We are going to take tons of pictures and it should be good times.

School Blues

I am doing my best to deal with the fact that I am not doing that well in school. What sucks the most is that I am doing the best I can, is not that I am procrastinating, or that I don't find the material interesting. Au contraire, I studied my ass off, and yet, I think I failed my last class. I don't know for sure yet, but there's a high probability.

That hurts, it stings, it burns, it sucks, I can't explain it. There's a part of me that likes a good challenge, but I know that I am losing, so I don't know whether to pull out, or keep trying. Maybe I am a bit over my head here, but I didn't think so.

So here's the full story, I am by trade a Computer Engineer, which means that I am hybrid, half Electrical Engineering, half Computer Science, we're supposed to be EEs that can write code.

Now, when I got admitted to UF. I was accepted to both the CISE and the ECE departments. I had to choose between a Computer Science and an Electrical Engineering Masters. I chose the latter. Even though I work as a Software Engineer, I want to get the background for Digital Signal Processing, because I work with Radio Technology. So I thought, that I'd be in good shape with a MS from the ECE department.

Last Spring I began with an Operating System class from CISE. I thought it would be an easy A. But there were so many assignments, and the tests were tough, Martha complained to me that we were not spending any time together, and overall it was a humbling experience. I expected to do much better, but I ended up with a B.

So my next class, Foundations of Digital Signal Processing, was supposed to be better, I supposed that if there are no programming assignments, How hard could it be? Just to make sure, I called the advisors to ask if there were any prereqs, and they all said no. So, I dove in.

Boy, was I wrong. The DSP class had some math that I didn't have, I tried in advance to study convolutions and transforms, but I was rusty on the complex plane, and I had no idea what they were talking about when they brought up stuff from Matrix Theory and Linear Algebra. In retrospect, those things would have been easy to learn, and I could have done much better if I tried to do more problems, but I concentrated in knowing the theory, which I think I have a good grasp. But I got a C+ in that class. Which means Motorola won't reimburse me. (credit card company: $$CA-CHING!)
What makes things worse for me, is that for everyone else in that class, it was an easy course. I justified it by noting that I do have a full time job, and a full family to look after. But still, I wasn't happy about getting a C.

So, enter the fall, and with it, a course that's supposed to be hard, in the first line of the Syllabus, the prereq was "strong mathematical skill" the name of the course, "Noise in Linear Systems" a math intensive class that involved Probability, Statistic, Calculus, Matrices and Linear System Theory. I had taken two classes that covered Probability, but I just could not hang. I mean, I would come home from work, help out around the house, and then sit down to study everyday working day until 11:30 PM the earliest, sometimes I'd stay up until 2:30 AM. During the weekends, I would do at least half a day with my family, and the rest of the time I would be studying. The whole month of December was spent studying for the final. And yet, I think I have been defeated, I know I could get a C for all my effort, but I C doesn't cut it in Grad school, I need a B average to graduate, and I don't know if they are going to put me in some kind of probation or something. Not to mention the fact that I won't get reimbursed for the cost of tuition.

Ever since I was in high school, I had never made some much effort towards a goal and failed like this. It's a humbling experience, I now know, that I am not as clever as I thought. That my math skills are lacking, and that I need to know when to cut my losses.

On a side note, when I was in high school, I was in the baseball team, I was never that good, even after trying and trying, I realized that I would never be good enough to play in college. So I quit. After that, I've never quit anything I wanted to do again.

However, if I get another C or below after the next class I am taking, (Digital Communication) I am quiting, I might switch from ECE to CISE, but I just might quit altogether. I am tired of getting my ass kicked in these test. I am tired of spending all that time studying and not reaping the rewards. However, I am not sorry I took these classes. I loved the material I learned, I think I understand the material as good as anyone else. Maybe I am deluding myself on that one. But I do like the material, In fact, I think the mathematics behind Information Theory and Signal Processing, is nothing short of beautiful. It's amazing how it all works. I loved it when I had those "aha" moments, when things come together and they MAKE SENSE.

However, failing it's too expensive. But in the other hand, I really don't want to leave school until I have a Master's degree. At the end I know that I will get a Master's degree. It's just that right now, I am down, I will come back strong after the break. I better get that A.

Things to do Today

There's a lot of stuff we have to do today, because we have a big day tomorrow. Right now Martha is in bed, she's feeling a bit sick from yesterday's Christmas party. Gaby and Anthony are watching the movie Cars downstairs, and I finally got a minute or two to sit down and write down a sample of what goes through my head everyday.

Blogging the trip

I don't want to make a promise I can't keep, but I think it would be a blast if I blog our trip. Hopefully, it will work out that way.


Ok Folks that's all for now, I needed to get that rant off my chest, I feel better now. Take Care, be good to each other.

J.V.

Life

Now, for the nihilist, existential thought of the day...

The Butterfly Effect

It's amazing how sometimes one small decision can have so much of an impact.

This has happened to me many times, one example would be how one day, this was long long time ago, I had just gotten out of marine corps active duty, and this was my first weekend back, I decided to go to church, the one my parents went to, I was late that morning, who knows why? but, when I walked in the church it was packed, and the usher found one seat for me, in a crowded pew, right next to a young lady...Martha, and the rest, my friends, is history.

Bed Time

I don't know what's up with these kids, they used to go to sleep at 7:30 PM, now it's almost 9:30 and they are still running around, even after we bathed them, dressed them, fed them, read to them. I don't know where these kids get all that energy from.

Any ideas? My cousin recommended this book to me. But pretty much all it says is that I should follow a routine, and we are doing just that, but the kids somehow fell out of that this week. I wonder what could have caused it. This week is no different than any other.

I am thinking about starting a new blog.

They say write what you know.

I know a thing here and there about computers and engineering, I'd like to write about it.

I like to to think and talk about politics and religion, but those things can get people in trouble. Plus, I really don't like to write about stuff I don't know much about.

I'll keep this blog alive because I really had good times writing in it. I stopped because I don't want to reveal too many things about my personal life. Plus, it's weird to always write about myself, and writing my thoughts on things I don't know much about is pretty pointless after all.

I do like self-reflection. But I rather keep it private. I don't like the whole world to know all the things that go through my head. Plus, the bloggersphere is already filled with such nonsensical, blog noise. I don't want to do that.

I know that writing a technical blog is not the most exciting thing in the world to most people, but I like it, it's what I want to do.

However, I still believe in the power or rational thought to make this world a better place.

So long. Good night.

J.V.

People, be wise about this election. Think before you vote, please.

J.V.

Out to the movies

Last night we saw the Dark Night, I liked it, it had many Moral lessons thrown in, and I couldn't help to notice a lot of parallels between Gotham city and post-911 America.

It's funny, last year after being kind of disappointed with disturbia, I swore off going to the Movies, too much hassle, too expensive.

But the other day we went to see Wall-e and we liked it. So now we are giving Hollywood another chance to win us over.

Heath Ledger was excellent as the Joker, tremendous performance. What a waste he had to go so early.

This morning I am tired as hell, we went to bed at 3:00 AM, that's because we watched the movie in freaking Kendall ! (we met up with friends down there, Kendall is in South Miami, about 40 miles from us) My mother in law watched the kids, but she was in northern Broward, so we ended up driving close to a hundred miles. What a night.

The Mission today, study, get homework done, study some more, and in between spend quality time with the kids.

J.V.

Randy Pausch

Randy Pausch

Just read in the news that he has died today. Very sad, he was a good man.

His last lecture at Carniege Mellon was very touching.

J.v.

Multitasking

Multitasking

The Mission: Monitor my email inbox at work, Make sure the kids stay alive, review for my exam, prepare lunch before 12:30 when Martha comes back from School.

I don't know how Martha does it, but today I am staying with the kids, while trying to get ready for a test, and keep my job! Let's see how it goes.

So far, so good, people at work don't come in until later.

9:26 - Martha just left to go to class, Anthony tried to run to the door but the floor was wet and he slipped backwards and fell on his back, he's fine, just shocked, he still has not learned the whole slippery floor concept I guess. He goes back to watching T.V. I keep having connection issues with Motorola. VNC is very slow.
I am reading about State-Determined Systems and it's all greek to me, both literally and figuratively speaking.

More updates later.

10:59 - Things got hairy at about 10:00 AM, upon checking my email I saw that I needed to merge files (not fun) merging files is tedious work, basically when two programmers make changes to the same file, you now have three versions of the same thing. To Merge is to reconcile the differences with a version that contains all the changes. In a C files this would be trivial, the issue is, we use a Tool called Rational Rose, this tool stores everything in XML format, which is hard to read, if you make a mistake merging two XML files, well, may God have mercy on your soul, because it's hard to catch an error. Anyway, I was doing that when suddenly the kids started to cry, I don't know why Gaby was crying, but Anthony wanted to watch "Mickey" but the Disney Channel(s) were not showing anything that resembled Mickey Mouse, so I had to convince him that watching Discovery Kids is what he wants to do anyway, then he tried to catch my attention by un-plugging MY Mouse from the USB HUB, I had to asses the situation, fast. So then, I gave him his coloring book and started lunch, while mentally going over the steps to merge all the files correctly, at this point, UF is out of the picture, I'll have to study tonight when the kids are asleep. Things are under control now, I merged the file, (it was a one line change) Lunch is almost ready, and Anthony is delighted since I showed him how to draw his own hand by placing it in a piece of paper and tracing around his fingers.

Status report, all quiet on the home front, all suspicious activity contained, standing by for back up to arrive.

The last post is an excellent example of what happens when I don't get enough sleep...I ramble.

Sad thing is, that is what I probably sound like in real life.

J.V.

Studying

I've been sitting here, staring at my notes for an hour, I am too tired to keep studying. Yet, I am wide awake and can't go to sleep. Don't know what to do. So, by default I am here writing, blogging, if you will.

By the way life is good, I stay busy, I get up, change diapers, get ready for work, commute, get to work, make coffee, read my email, work on whatever is going on at the office, (lately is fixing bugs in the code) and then get home, have dinner, put the kids to bed, and then study until I can't anymore. Somewhere in between I check my facebook account, and browse reddit.com to see what's new in the web. During lunch I socialize with a few friends from work, I call it the Lunch Mafia, we get together and discuss a wide range of subjects, everything from College Football to Theology.

I always think about how much better I can make this blog, but there's always something going on with a higher priority.

Right now I can't do anything else. But apparently I am too tired to write.

Well, about a month ago I found a facebook group for the school I used to go to back when I lived in Venezuela. Suddenly I started talking to people I have not seen in many years (16 years to be exact) I left Venezuela when I was 13 years old, and it's funny that some people remember, not all, but most, and talking to them again is great, I don't know, this sounds crazy, but it feels like things make sense, to be able to talk to people that belong in the past gives life a sort of continuity, you see, I've met a lot of people in these 29 years I've been around, but I have changed circles dramatically, my early friends were in a city in Venezuela called Puerto La Cruz, then I came here and when to high school in Lauderdale Lakes, where I met people that were different in every way, I made friend from Jamaica, Haiti and Florida, as well as people from all over Latin America, throughout high school I only knew a handful of other Venezuelans, so I felt very foreign. Then, when I joined the Marines I had my second culture shock, I was surrounded by, well, marines. Young men from all over the States, mostly from the South and Blue collar states like Ohio and Texas. These guys made me feel like a total outsider, I really learned a lot about people and about myself those days. I must say, that was something else, I am glad that I left home to see the world and to meet all these people from different backgrounds.

Anyway, I am going to stop writing now, I am going to hit the "Publish Post" button and that's that. Good night.

J.V.

Unicorns are real!

So they have found a single-horned deer in Italy. That's weird. What else are we going to find?


Speaking of Unicorns, I just read a very interesting article about Art and Computers, some computer whiz figured out a way to put together possible the world's biggest digital photo.