My Review of "Want: Sexual Fantasies by Anonymous" edited by Gillian Anderson

Want: Sexual Fantasies by Anonymous by Gillian Anderson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Reads like a Post-Secret compilation, curated by Gillian Anderson. Interesting read. This is like Nancy Friday's "My Secret Garden" but includes inputs from a more diverse group of women. WoC plus LGBQT folks. Fascinating look into the human psyche. Our brains are the sexiest organs for sure.
Interesting take aways is that is totally normal to have fantasies, and that queer people fantasize about heterosexual sex (sometimes?) Not every fantasy should be turned to reality, or in other words, fantasies are safe and the creator has complete control of what happens. That's not always the case in real life. I was going to say something about how women still feel shame about their fantasies even in today's age. The truth is, society is regressing a bit when it comes to social values and women's rights. That sucks, but in any case, there's a lot less stigma around sex in general if we compare society today to 1973 when My Secret Garden came out. It's surprising to compare what has changed and what stays the same. You'd have to read the book to know.

Good read.



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My Review of "The Siren's Call: How Attention Became the World's Most Endagered Resource"

The Sirens' Call: How Attention Became the World's Most Endangered Resource by Chris Hayes
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is an informative book about Attention, what it is, how it works, and how recent changes in tech transformed attention into a commodity to be taken, traded and commodified.

This shift from survival mechanism to coveted valuable resource is making our lives less enjoyable.
Chris Hayes gives us a lot of information to think about, along with supporting data, quotes and apt metaphors.

I really enjoyed the analogies to labor (it's a monetized commodity) and food (we evolved not needing a lot, now there's too much information)

The last chapter, is the weakest, but I think it's up to the reader to judge for themselves. The question in the last chapter can be summoned as "Okay, now what do we do about this? " There isn't much new, just be intentional about what you pay attention to. There's a call to regulate tech companies as well.

The information in this book is important and the issues called out in here need to be addressed.

Good Read

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My Review of "Feeling Good Together" by Dr. David Burns on GoodReads

Feeling Good Together: The Secret of Making Troubled Relationships Work by David D. Burns
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This self-help book will give you tools for improving communication with people you care about.
I enjoyed the audible version. It was filled with amusing stories that help cement the strategies and techniques from the book. Well, written, well presented and very insightful. It's an excellent reference for being a good listener and a good communicator.

The Section of the book that explains the "Five Secrets of Effective Communication" is my personal favorite. I am doing the exercises and I am going to apply it as much as I can. The "Disarming Technique" was an eye opener.

I highly recommend this book for anyone looking to deepen their relationships.

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Everyone is a Creator

 I love this passage from Rick Rubin in his book "The Creative Act: A Way of Being"

Those who do not engage in the traditional arts might be wary of calling themselves artists. They might perceive creativity as something extraordinary or beyond their capabilities. A calling for the special few who are born with these gifts.

 

Fortunately, this is not the case.

 

Creativity is not a rare ability. It is not difficult to access. Creativity is a fundamental aspect of being human. It’s our birthright. And it’s for all of us.

 

Creativity doesn’t exclusively relate to making art. We all engage in this act on a daily basis.

 

To create is to bring something into existence that wasn’t there before.

 

It could be a conversation, the solution to a problem, a note to a friend, the rearrangement of furniture in a room, a new route home to avoid a traffic jam.

 

What you make doesn’t have to be witnessed, recorded, sold, or encased in glass for it to be a work of art. Through the ordinary state of being, we’re already creators in the most profound way, creating our experience of reality and composing the world we perceive.

The rest of the passage is wonderful. What a moving idea! We can all create, it doesn't have to be perfect, or celebrated, rather, to make is to be human. I. love. that. 

So, creativity is a way of being. Reading this book hit differently. This was one of my favorite books of 2024. I think I am going to keep it in my reference shelve so that I can refer to it often. 

 

Resist

 

Don't let evil go unchallenged. Fight against it. 

-JV

My Review of "None of This is True" by Lisa Jewell

None of This Is True by Lisa Jewell
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Alix is a famous journalist/podcaster when she meets her "birthday twin" a lady that was born on the same day at the same hospital as her. Then things get weird. This is an entertaining page-turner with some dark turns along the way. It's funny and sad at the same time.

I am not sure about the narration structure, the book presents the story as the screenplay for the Netflix documentary for the story. So, it's a story told inside a story of a podcaster. It's unique, it did not quite feel gimmicky, but at the end I wondered how much this helped the story/plot.

For me, I am starting to see a pattern, I think I am drawn to "crazy women doing crazy shit" genre.
Like "All fours" by Miranda July or all the people in Mary Gaitskill's stories. I liked the pace of the story, I liked how the mystery slowly unravels creating even more questions as you go.

I liked this book, it was a good story, I gave it three stars because I thought the author could have done without the unusual narrative format. I could not fully relate to the main character specially her relationship to her husband Nathan. I don't want to give away spoilers, but, I did not like Nathan.

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My Review of "Masters of Doom: How Two Guys Created and Empire and Transformed Pop Culture" by David Kushner

Masters of Doom: How Two Guys Created an Empire and Transformed Pop Culture by David Kushner
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is the story around the people who created the game Doom. John Romero and John Carmack.
The book starts with a short bio of the two Johns. And covers the stories around the creation of their first game, the company they started and the famous public fallout.

I like the idea that the game and the company worked because both founders had opposite views and opposite approach to the game. Romero was "design is king" and Carmak was the "Engine Guy" One thought that the design of the game is the only thing that matters and tech was just a tool to get the game you want to create. Carmak was the opposite, for him the tech was the main thing, the story is not that important if you don't have the tech to make it stand out.

I didn't like the people in this story, the sterotype of the programmer as the socially-inept genius, the nerd that has the last laugh hurts the tech industry. I liked that I read this book, but I was not inspired by the people or the story. For me this is a history lesson and how to suck at managing.

Good read for sure, I recommend it to those who are in tech as a cautionary tale.


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20 Years of Blogging

 Wow, 20 years go by so quickly. 

I started writing this blog in 2005, my life was changing...for good, but it was happening so quickly I realized the magnitude of what was to come. 20 years ago I had been married for a little over 2 years, October would be the 3 year anniversary. But we really started living together as a married couple March 2004 when I got back from Iraq. In May 2005 we would learn that my wife was pregnant, 20 weeks along and we didn't know it! We had put money down for our first home, it was a pre-construction in Margate FL. I had  a 6-month "Co-op" (longer internship) with IBM, my first tech job. I had completed roughly half of my undergraduate classes. It was really my wife and I. 

The thought of becoming a parent changed the way I saw myself and the way I saw the world.  I wanted (I still do) to be a good father. To be a better father than mine, I wanted to raise good people. I was looking for a way to discover myself, since I thought there is no "handbook" to being a parent. 

Well it turns out, there have been pretty good books written on the subject, I just didn't know it. I now realize that yeah, everyone's life a bit different and you have to make decisions on a case by case basis. That doesn't mean that you can't educate yourself. 

In any case, 20 years have gone by, my oldest daughter is a freshman at UW and my youngest is a Senior in high school. I am very proud of them. 

Now begins a new chapter. We are going to be empty-nesters. New transition in life. I look forward to it, but I am a bit scared, same as I was when my kids were about to be born. 

We put so much of our personality and efforts into being parents, once the kids are gone, what is left? 

There are many things to do, places to go, sights to see. I look forward to see what's in store. NGL, it's intimidating. 

-JV