My review of "Butts: A Backstory" by Heather Radke

Butts: A Backstory by Heather Radke
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

In this book the author tells us the history and origin of all things butt-related, particularly women's butts. What it means for many to be the owner of a woman's butt and how that relates to race and class. Heather Radke makes insightful observations in a light, funny and sometimes sobering narrative that comes off as honest and moving.

I enjoyed learning the history of many of our cultural hang-ups about this part of the body. She made connections between fashion and racism that I had never noticed or thought about but seem obvious after you see it. It made me conscious of the big difference between walking the world in a male body where I am not objectified for my body parts, I don't have my character or sexuality judged by the size of any of my visible body parts. I learned about the effect our culture and the media has on people. Specially those that don't meet the "normal body" standard, which happens to be a bunch of made up bs anyway, because there is no such thing as an "average" body since all bodies come in various shapes and sizes and there is no "wrong" way to have a body. Bodies just happen to exits, but we place meaning to body shapes and sizes in order to justify the power structures we construct.

Excellet read. 5/5.

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Reading list: 20 books about japan

 https://www.neverendingvoyage.com/books-about-japan/

I would like to learn as much as I can about Japan before April, just saying. 

Amazon's best books of 2023

 

Check out Amazon's list of best books of 2023

I have not read any of the books on that list. :(

I'll fix that next year. 

Check out the new images from Euclid

The new pictures from the European Space Agency's Euclid are amazing. Check it out!

The picture reveal galaxies never seen before. The image quality is crisp, and the range is much farther than we've ever had. Take a break from your earthly tasks and take a look at the stars. 

How to be better at arguing

 

We've all been there, a co-worker, a friend, a relative or someone you met on the internet has the audacity to not see things the same exact way you do. How dare them! So you proceed to engage in an exchange of ideas in the hopes that this other person can see the light and thank you for changing their erroneous ways. You would think that if you make your case plain, loud and simple enough the other person will just change their mind as a result of your awesome rhetoric. 

How did that work out for you?

Yeah, I didn't think so. 

So,  I thought I'd share my approach, because I actually see arguing as an opportunity to learn something new, a new perspective not considered before or a deeper understanding of a nuanced situation. 

Here is a list of things to think about next time you have a disagreement. 

1. Learn to see things their way. 

This is huge. In order to make yourself understood, you have to understand what's going on first. You must learn how to make the argument against your case better than the person you are arguing with. You need to know how to see things from a different point of view, even if you don't agree with it. Especially if you don't agree with it. This is a must because this is how you learn empathy, and having empathy is what keeps you from being a jerk.  

Making your own counter-argument makes you consider the fact that you could (gasp!) be wrong.  Changing your mind and admitting you were wrong are strong sign that you value the truth and that you are not insecure about your image. 

This is the reason debate teams make people argue and counter-argue the same topic. It's a skill worth practicing and improving upon. 

2. Don't take it personal and don't make it personal. 

Learn to separate the idea from the person.  Don't go after the person, go after the idea. Don't assume that a person that disagrees with you is going after you personally. 

3. Listen more than you talk. 

This one always applies, but when you are arguing I think that most disagreements stem from misunderstandings,  it could be that you both actually agree but were framing the argument differently. You or the other person could be making assumptions that may not be obvious. 

One technique I use is to repeat what the other person just said, in my own words. Synthesize, analyze and understand what they are saying, from their point of view, with their context and then without judgment tell them "What I am hearing is that we shouldn't run these tests in Gamma because...X,Y, Z"

When you do this successfully you can iron out most good faith misunderstandings. 

4. Pick your battles. 

If you feel the urge to always be right, you should evaluate your intentions. What are you trying to achieve? Is this the best way? 

When T***p got elected in 2016, I needed to understand how anyone could vote for that sort of person. I thought that engaging with people online would be useful, but I quickly got tired and I lost my faith in humanity a bit.  Don't feed the trolls. 

Keep the long term in mind. What is this discussion really about? What happens if I don't say anything? A new perspective can make the right choice obvious. 

Sometimes there are hills worth dying for. Know what those are and engage with the long term goal in mind. 

5. If you are wrong. Admit it right away. 

Be the grown up. People will respect you for it. Believe me. 

New post in my technical blog

 So last year I started a new technical blog titled "Yes Way Jose" in order to improve my technical writing. 

Just posted an article review for Google's SRE team's Lessons Learned

Go check it out! 

How to Grow as a Person: A personal manifesto

 You probably hear the phrase "growth-mindset" all the time. There's a $5-Billion industry out there aimed at the "wellness market" But what does that really mean? How do you grow as a person? 

I am going to tell you what growing as a person means to me. I hope that you will find this useful to your own life and purposes. I do not have everything figured out yet and I struggle with taking my own advice all the time. Yet, I am never going to stop striving, your journey may look a lot different than mine but you should hear me out. 

There are three ways to grow as a person: Your Character, Your Impact and Your Work. That's all you need to focus in order to grow. 

Your Character

There is a whole scientific area of research called "Positive Psychology" that uses evidence-based studies to figure out what sort of "thing" affects real, long term, lasting happiness. 

Personally I got a lot out of reading Martin Seligman's books TL;DR: Focus your efforts on improving the things you control, more specifically put energy into improving your character.  You don't have to buy his books or anything to benefit from his findings. You can look here to see the 24 character traits listed in his books. For convenience this is the list of character traits: Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence, Bravery, Creativity, Curiosity, Fairness, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Honesty, Hope, Humility, Humor, Judgement, Kindness, Leadership, Love, Love of Learning, Perseverance, Perspective, Prudence, Self-Regulation,  Social Intelligence, Spirituality, Teamwork and Zest. 

It turns out you can always grow your character, you can never have too much wisdom, you can not go wrong when you work on improving all the traits instead of just one. The key is finding the right balance. Too much of one thing will come at the cost of something else. 

Some of these things may come easy to you, I am naturally inclined to curiosity and I love learning new things. I have to make a conscious effort to improve my Social Intelligence, Self-Regulations and Spirituality. 

There are surveys online you can take to learn where your strengths are. I encourage you to find out for yourself where you are at. 

The Impact You Make

How does your life affect other people? Nobody is an island so your connection to the world matters. Do you inspire the masses? Your child? Are you a good spouse/parent/sibling? Are you a good friend? 

You can say that these things are also related to your character but you can think about something that is bigger than yourself. A cause that matters to you and others. What can you do to make the world a better place to not only you but the people that will come after you. 

I want to make clear that I struggle with this. I think about the things that I think I'm doing well, for example I think I could have been a lot worse parent, but then again, loving my kids came super easy to me. What about the people in my life that need help? People in my family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers. I think about what else I can do for others, for a good cause.  Conserving and restoring the environment, pushing for equality, for a more just world, for a kinder world. This is an area for growth, we can always do something.  

The Work You Do. Push for Excellence

For me this means the code I write, the work I create as an engineer should be as good as I can make it. There's always a lot of work to do with deadlines and pressure to deliver. I want to ensure that what I create is excellent. You can apply this to what you do. This sounds like it applies to artistic endeavors only but that's not the case. When you create something, that artifact (it could be a sandwich or a novel, a song) is a reflection of you. It's an opportunity to express yourself. Take your time to strive for excellence. You may not think it matters, but this makes an impact. This is also an area of work for me. What can I say about my works? What is my legacy? The good thing is, we have time, we're here, we can always do better. 

List of things that don't work

More money, more pleasure:

Money matters, a lot. Being poor is bad for your health and your happiness. It should be obvious. However, after a certain point, having more money will not make you more happy. After all your basic needs are met, things like food, shelter, health care, doubling your salary will let you buy nicer things and have more freedom but will not double your happiness.  Buying nice stuff will not bring you lasting happiness as you will adjust to it and will long for the next thing.  

A similar thing is seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. You can live a life with constant traveling, partying, feeling good and still feel a void inside. More pleasure doesn't equate to lasting happiness. 

You can learn more about this in the Hedonic treadmill

More Fame

If you seek validation from outside yourself you will never feel whole. Validation comes from within. You must learn to value and accept yourself before expecting the same for others. Side note, everyone you meet is dealing with the same thing, keep that in mind before you judge what other people do. 

Being Smart

A lot of people value "being smart" or more accurately, they value appearing smart to other people. They obsess about grades, credentials, achievements and intelligence. Comparing yourself to other people only makes you more miserable. Strive to do better for its own sake, not for what it will do to your image.  There's always people way smarter than you. Focus on the impact of your actions and improving yourself. Learn for curiosity, growth or just because, truth is, nobody cares that you are smart, they care about how you make them feel, what you do for them, to them. Being smart for its own sake is meaningless. 

Conclusion

Dear reader I hope this helps your efforts to grow as a person.  like I said, I am an imperfect person that fails all the time, but this is my north star, this is my personal guideline to growing and what it means to be excellent. 

-JV

My review of "Ludicrous: The Unvarnished Story of Tesla Motors" by Edward Niedermeyer

Ludicrous: The Unvarnished Story of Tesla Motors by Edward Niedermeyer
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This books covers the history of Tesla up to 2019, with an Afterword that includes the 2020 pandemic.

This is an honest attempt to write the story of a car company that went from 3 people in 2004 to a household name less than 2 decades later.

I liked that the author discloses his involvement with the company and makes it clear that he is not entirely outside of the events that occur in the book. The author is a blogger and he posted a story about Tesla making its customers sign non-disclousure-agreements (NDAs) in order to perform "goodwill repairs" of defective cars. This is a big no-no because it makes it really hard to report safety concerns if you are legally bound to silence. I am neither a Tesla fan or a Tesla hater, but I'm never, ever, ever going to buy a car that has a higher chance of killing me than the other cars in the market. That's just me though, maybe I'm not the target demographic for those cars.

The only issue with the book is that it needs to be updated to cover what has happened since 2020. The company is still around, but no new cars have come out (?)

Overall, very entertaining, insightful page-turner. I learned a lot about Electric Vehicles (EVs) in the process. The book debunked the myth of "Other Auto-makers are not investing in EVs" it turns out there are a lot of viable alternative to Tesla if you want a safe, tested and high-quality EV.

I don't think Tesla is going to die anytime soon, but it's overrated for sure.

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My review of "What Tech Calls Thinking" by Adrian Daub

What Tech Calls Thinking: An Inquiry into the Intellectual Bedrock of Silicon Valley by Adrian Daub
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is an exposition of the origin and history of the ideas that fuel Silicon Valley Techies. Specifically the billionaires that influence the culture of the executives, engineers, as well as the press.

I liked the non-obvious insights and learning about Mimetic theory as a tech worker myself, a lot of the content did not come as a surprise. I am aware that Silicon Valley is not dominated by liberal thought, contrary to what the right-wing media decrees, there are a lot of conservatives in tech.

The author could not hide his disdain for S.V. and the ideals they spouse. At times it felt like he was stretching things a bit. I am aware that I have my biases but still, the author errs on the side of "tech people suck" a bit too much. I get that hyper-capitalism yields inequality that hurts real people. I am not a fan of causing harm. I just think that the arguments the author makes sometimes feel like he's reaching too far. That's just me. This doesn't invalidates the main message though, the things that tech calls thinking is not a new or innovative as you may think.

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My review of "Black Friend: Essays by Ziwe"

Black Friend: Essays by Ziwe,
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is a collection of funny essays from famous (?) influencer Ziwe. I didn't know who she was until I accidentally saw her interview on one of the morning shows, that and the fact that my wife knew her and thought highly of her made me get this book (Public Libraries FTW!)

If you are a white person that gets easily triggered by people of color calling out racist behavior, then maybe you should read this book, but you won't have a good time. I always learn something from these books. It was an quick entertaining read. My only issue with this book is that it was too short. I read this on a plane ride from Seattle to Boston. I am not a fast reader.

-JV

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Cancun, the good, the bad and the meh

 Just got back from spending 5 days vacationing in Cancun. If you can go, go! It's nice. Highly recommend it. 

The good:

1. The beach, no question, white sands, blue water, warm water. Loved it. I spent as much time in the water as I could. 

2. Private tours. Chichen Itza ruins. We had an amazing guide, Nef (@guiacancunguide on IG) was friendly, knowledgable, bilingual and professional. He did an amazing job of answering all our questions, driving us everywhere and giving us tips for finding the best spots to see. 

Chichen Itza was amazing. It was incredible to see the ruins. I couldn't believe that these pyramids were just sitting there in someone's private farm for years until they were bought and restored. 

3. The fam. 

I liked that I got to spend time with the girls and the family, we met my wife's cousin with this family and we hung out and caught up. 

4. The resort

I was happy with the hotel, it was one of those all-inclusive resorts. Food was good, the staff was friendly, the building is starting to show its age but it was well-kept and clean. 

The Meh

1. Exchange rate favors the US but prices were not a lot cheaper. I mean, things like food and drink are still cheaper, but not by a lot. 

2. Taxis are pricey but buses are cheap. 

3. There's no uber. 

The Bad

1. Delta airlines. We've been faithful customers for a long time. They did us dirty this time. On the way back we had a one-hour layover in Salt Lake City. We had a checked-in bag so we had to go get our bags, clear customs, go through security and get to the gate all under one hour. The plane took off 20 minutes late out of Cancun, we raced to the baggage claim but didn't get our bags until 15 minutes before our flight was supposed to leave. Martha took one for the team and stayed back to get the checked bag while I went to the plane with the girls. I asked the person at the boarding gate if they could wait for my wife to clear customs and security, she was like "she's got 15 minutes" anyway long story short, they shut the door in her face, could not get in even though it was the airline's fault. Delta booked her to the next flight which thankfully was only two hours later but the whole thing felt foul. 

2. It was hot and humid, but that's part of going to the beach I guess. 

3. Only there for 5 days. I wish I had stayed longer. 

So that's all folks. Thanks for reading. 

-JV

Mi opinion hacerca de "Fortuna" de Hernan Diaz en GoodReads

Fortuna by Hernan Diaz
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Una novela con un estilo original. No quiero revelar nada que hecha a perder la experiencia del lector. Se trata de la vida de un millonario que hizo sus riquezas en Wall Street en la decada de los '20 del siglo pasado. Pero realmente hay mas de una version de lo que paso entre el y su mujer. Cual el la verdad? Que fue lo que paso?

El libro abarca temas de la politica, economia y de el amor marital. Muy bien escrita. Me lei la version en Castellano porque crei que la version original salió en español, no es cierto pero la traducción me pareció muy fiel a el text original.

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My Review of Mastermind by Maria Konnikova on GoodReads

The Confidence Game: Why We Fall for It . . . Every Time by Maria Konnikova
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

A book report on all things Con Artists, the people who do the cons, the people who fall for it. The tactics, strategies and weaknesses con artists use to get people to give away money and possessions because they were fooled by a non-violent liar and thief.

I really wanted to like this book. I've always been fascinated by this subject. Everyone is vulnerable to scammers and con artists, even educated people and hard-core skeptical folk. Me and you can be fooled, it's not as hard as you think it is.

The problem with this book is that I couldn't not find a unifying thread or message other than "con artists" I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I read the author's other book Mastermind and really, really liked it. That book was organized as a journey to understanding how people get really good at something. This book was not like that. This book felt more like a loose collection of anecdotes about con artist. It's very informative and entertaining but it's not the author's best work.

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My review of Poverty by America by Matthew Desmond on Goodreads

Poverty, by America by Matthew Desmond
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is a fierce and concise report and how the world's wealthiest country has so many people living in poverty. The author makes the case that the system is this way on purpose. The people who have the power to end poverty don't do it because they benefit from keeping people poor. This book explains how our government helps people who don't need our help, neglects those who need help the most and sell the idea that there's nothing anyone can do about this problem.

I like that the author backs everything up with data, he concedes when his statement or point is debatable and seems like a good faith effort to make people decide to do something about the current situation. The style is direct and effective. The author voice is compelling, you can feel the passion he feels about the situation.

The thing I like the most is probably the weakest part of the book, the book calls for action, but he is honest about the fact that it's not going be pleasant and we, the people who benefit the most from the status quo are not going to like it. Yet he lays it out for you. I have always thought that poverty was an inevitable fact of the human condition, but the author makes the case that we are the way we are because we like it and want to keep it that way. I don't like that there's people suffering but I get it.

This book is important. Everyone should read it.

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Divergent Mind: Thriving in a World That Wasn't Designed for You by Jenara Nerenberg
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This book is a bit hard to describe, part personal reflection, part report, the author shares a lot of info to the readers, the things that stick out the most are:

1. The author wants to reframe the language we use to talk about neurodiversity. This is because language does matter, the way we frame ADHD, HSD and Autism influences what we do, how we hire, fire, treat, judge and treat people who have a different wiritng

2. Women have been left out of medicine and that's starting to finally change. Historically, straight white males were the ones that started the field of psychology back then women were treated differently, women were simply ignored and left out of the research of ADHD as a result many women go through their whole lives without knowing they are living with ADHD or Aspergers.

3. Everyone needs to be aware of these conditions, nobody thinks adult women with careers and families are living with these conditions usually associated with boys. Women go all their life without a diagnosis.

I'm glad this book exists. I gave it four starts because at times I wasn't sure what the chapter was really about, like, it took me some effort to grasps the message, but maybe that's on me and not the author.

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My Review of "The FerryMan" by Justin Cronin on GoodReads

The Ferryman by Justin Cronin
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Proctor Bennet works as the director of Human Transitions at Prospera, a perfect society where everything and everyone is thriving....or are they?

This was a fun sci-fi thriller. I liked the pace of the book, the narrative. The story was a bit too sentimental for me.


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I finally got Covid

 I can't believe that after 3.5 years of avoiding Covid I finally got it. SMH.

We were all vaccinated and boosted so we got a mild version, but still, that shit sucked. 

We must have gotten it on our way to Buenos Aires,  Martha had symptoms first, she wears an N95 mask every time we fly, so she must have gotten it at the airport, who knows. Gaby and I got sick later. All 3 of us tested positive when we got back from Argentina on the 9th. Martha tested negative the following day. Gaby tested negative yesterday and I tested negative today. 

I really hope I didn't give it to anyone else. I feel crappy about flying sick but we didn't know it was Covid.  We always wear masks, specially Martha. Glad we are past it. Yesterday I felt the worst, very congested, headache, low energy. Getting work done like that sucks. 

-JV

Argentina: The Good, the Bad and the Messi

 

In short:

We cut our trip to Argentina short, we were supposed to return on Monday the 13th, but we are flying out tonight, TL;DR: Gaby got sick and it was not fun for anyone so we are just going home. 

What went well:

- We met Pablo the "Beef Sommelier" IG we got a private cooking class from someone who truly cares about beef, our only regret is that we saw him first, after that, all the other beef we had did not compare in quality. He gave us a sampler of prime cuts from different cattle breeds, we got to taste grass versus grain-fed and compare the flavor difference.  He also showed us which local, cheap wines are actually really good, he taught me about Fernet and coke and Gancia with soda water and lime as apertiff. Highly recommend it!

- We had the "Famous 5PM Tea Time" at the Alvear hotel that was very nice, Great service, they serve their own blend of tea and it is delicious. 

- Uber, loved how we can get around easily and cheaply in the city with Uber. Also, I met many cool drivers, mostly immigrants from other Latin American countries, from a Colombian lady studying to be a dentist, to a fellow Venezuelan making a new life in Buenos Aires. 

- We saw the Andes Mountains.  This is something that I've wanted to do since I was little, finally was able to do it. 

- The hotels and Airbnb were on point. Comfortable and well priced. Must thank Martha for finding the best places with the best deals. Thanks babe!

What didn't go well

- We all got sick, but Gaby got sicker :(   we all got some kind of flu, Martha and I got over it quickly but Gaby has been sick the past four days. Life pro tip: Don't get sick when traveling, schedule your travels on days that you won't get sick. 

- There were some rude people. People are people everywhere, you can't say that all americans are this or all french people are that, but the douche to nice ratio in Argentina was a tad higher than average. The people sitting in front of us in the plane were super rude and disrespectful to the flight attendants and you can tell they are used to people like that, but wow.  

- Pricy restaurants with rude service:  We ended up in a restaurant that that had the trifecta combo: Overpriced, terrible food and bad service! Like, I have worked on the food and service industry before, I know that job is not easy, but these people were rude as fuck right off the bat, as if our mere existence annoyed them. WTF? and this happened at more than one place, I would dismiss one place as a one-off, but more than once it's a pattern. 

- Bariloche has no Uber and taxis are in high demand and low supply

our hotel was very nice, but it was located 20 minutes away from the town, going to town meant calling a taxi service, waiting 45 minutes to one hour, then expending 20 to 40 minutes depending on traffic in a tiny car, God help you trying to find a cab to come back! Also, taxis don't take cards there, so you have to get cash out, and good luck getting money out of the ATMs. 

- The snow in Bariloche was not good, they had a really bad ski season, warmer temperatures and very little snowfall this year. 

Conclusion

I am glad I was able to visit, other people in my family probably feel differently but I only wish I had planned the visit to Bariloche better, but other than that, I am happy I came and I am also very happy to be going home soon. 

My Review of "The Candy House" by Jennifer Egan on Goodreads

The Candy House by Jennifer Egan
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This book might not be for everyone. Each chapter is written from a different character's point of view using different writing styles. The event's are not told in chronological order, this could be considered a sequel to "Visit from the Goon Squad" it is set in the same world with the same set of characters. Like my teenage daughter likes to say, this book is a "vibe"

I can't explain why I liked it, it was interesting to read the weird things the weird people do in this book. There are layers in there I'm sure you have to dig to find the good stuff, but there are themes about tech, social media and isolation. I do sense a tinge of "adults dealing with childhood" trauma.

I enjoyed reading this book, but don't read it expecting a story you can explain in less than two sentences. At some points it sort of felt like reading "Infinite Jest" by David Foster Wallace, but the light version. This is meant as a compliment.

-JV

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Day 1 Cooking Class with a Beef Summelier

 

Yesterday we had a chill day, we hung out the Airbnb for most of the day, we went to local supermarket to stock up on food that was fun in itself, we went to COTO a local supermarket chain that's more like a super target than anything else. Today I learned that Argentinians call Mantequilla Manteca, and Manteca is "grasa" good to know. 

Speaking of grasa, man, we had a cooking class with a "Beef Sommelier" We found this guy that gives private cooking lessons at Airbnb, he picked us up and took us to his house where we learned to make traditional empanadas from scratch, then he gave us an explanation of the different types of cattle breeds, cuts, and feeding methods, it was very educational, entertaining and now we see what the fuzz is about. The meat was delicious. It was a wonderful evening. 

Buenos Aires

 Just got to Buenos Aires last night. It's supposed to be winter but it's 73 degrees.  We're staying in an Airbnb in the Belgrano neighborhood, just north of downtown and walking distance from the River Plate soccer stadium. 

Last night we had empanadas and they were good af. 

Today we're doing a cooking class, we're going to learn how to make Argentinian empanadas as well as Asado. Grilled meat. 

It's nice here. 

About to head out to Oregon

We're about to go see Gaby at a softball tournament in Oregon. 

We haven't been to Portland since before the pandemic. 

It should be fun.

- JV

MLB All Star Weekend Seattle Edition 2023

 What it was:

Saturday: Futures game. Minor League All Stars game. Then there was the Celebrity Softball Game. 

Monday: Home Run Derby

Tuesday: Actual All Start Game

What went well:

The games were fun, Saturday's Celebrity Softball Game was surprisingly fun, the atmosphere was laid back with an emphasis on having a good time. 

The home run derby was also very fun to watch, it was just Gaby and I 

The beer and the food was on point. I had a Hoppy Valley Hefe on Tuesday and a Shandy on Saturday. I don't think you can find such a wide variety of good beer at any other stadium. Even though there's a lot of good places to eat at the stadium I settled for a Mariner's hotdog and a soft pretzel. Gaby went with the chicken tenders and the garlic fries

This is Gaby being amazed at Adley Rutschman's home run performance (28 home runs)

What could be better:

- Parking was obscenely expensive

- The stadium was hot af. They should have started the game at 7 pm instead of 5 PM. Too much sun

- Crowd control. Too many people, getting around the stadium was tough

- Seat selection. I waited too long to get my tickets, as season ticket holders I was able to get the tickets early at a good price, but by the time I got it together there were slim pickings, it pays to plan ahead.  

Vamos para Argentina!

 Skiing in August? Yes please. 

Soccer game at one of the best soccer countries in the world? (Second to Brazil, of course) Yes!

Eating good? Check, Practice my Spanish? Check, Traveling back to my native South America? Check

I'm looking forward to our family trip to Argentina. We're going to be at Buenos Aires, San Carlos de Bariloche in Patagonia skiing for a couple of days and taking a day trip to Montevideo Uruguay. 

Good times. 

My Review of "Stay True" by Hua Hsu on Goodreads

Stay True by Hua Hsu
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This book is a memoir about a friendship. The author met Ken in college in the late 90's, less than 3 years into the friendship his friend was killed in a random car-jacking gone wrong. This is a less a story and more like the author writing therapeutic monologue processing what happened.

I liked that the book is honest and insightful. The author makes astute observations about American culture then (the 90's), about life as the son of immigrants from Taiwan, about race, being Asian and life in general.

I struggled to figure out what this book was about, like, I'd say it's a vibe, but I don't think that's what the author was going for. I think this is maybe a little more than an homage to a beautiful life lost in a absurd way in an uncaring universe and how the author dealt with it.

I enjoyed this book, there's nothing wrong with it per se, but it's not a "must-read" it's more like, "huh, ok" type of book.

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My review of "Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow" by Gabrielle Zevin on GoodReads

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is a story about two friends who make video games. The narrative spans their life-long friendship. It's a story about creative work, love, art, tech and video games.

I really enjoyed reading this book. I can tell that the author knows what goes into building software.
She walks the reader through the creative process, not just the design up front, but the debugging, the release schedule, all that, which may seem like boring details but made the story feel real to me.

I love the references to classic literature and Japanese culture. I stopped and looked up "The Great Wave off Kanagawa" and remembered the fact that this work of art was my laptop wallpaper when I was in college.

At times it feels like the characters are stereotypes, I had to take breaks from this book, there were some sad parts, some triggering parts, don't be like me and read this at a busy bus station downtown, you might start crying in public.

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Computer Scientist Explains Machine Learning in 5 Levels of Difficulty

 In Wired magazine's 5 Level Series experts are challenged to explain a concept at different levels. Like Albert Einstein said:   "If you can't explain it to a six-year- old, you don't understand it yourself"    In this episode, Computer Scientist Hilary Mason explains Machine Learning to a child, a teen, a college student, a grad student and an expert.     This was too good not to share

My Review of "The City We Became" by N.K. Jemisin on GoodReads

The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

N.K. Jemisin gives us a world in which cities are living things, not metaphorically, but literally. Great cities are born, but it's not always easy and not every universe in the multi-verse wants cities to live. New York city is about to be born, and 5 people are picked by the city to represent each of the boroughs.
The author delivers a captivating story that reads like a fast-paced action movie. I like that the book is inclusive, diverse, and real. I love the way the book flows and I like that the author has something to say. Can't wait to read the next one.

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My Review of "The Good Life" on Goodreads

The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness by Robert Waldinger
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This book shares the major findings from the famous Human development Study started by Harvard in 1938. The project tracks the life of more than 800 people from age 14 till their death. Now in it's eight decade, the study is still going strong, tracking the second and third generation of the original subjects.

The major finding of the study is this: Better Relationships improve the quality of your life.

This finding has been replicated across different demographics again and again. It sounds like common sense, but yeah, work on improving your relationship with your spouse, family and friends and you too, can have a better life. You can expect to live longer and healthier if you feel a connection to those around you.

I liked the direct language of the book. It's easy to read and easy to follow. The book is light on statistics but it is filled of anecdotes that serve as illustration of the point they are trying to make.

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Bathroom project is coming along

 Martha has been working on re-doing the bathroom in the main floor. We're putting new wallpaper, and adding a new mirror. It's a total DIY project and we're learning as we go. 

This video is our 3rd or 4th attempt to remove the mirror that's glued to the wall. It's funny that Martha knew how we should remove it but neither one of us knew the name of the thing we needed. Last week we both went to the Home Depot going up people asking them about "skinny pieces of wood to remove mirror" and they were scratching their heads. We ended up going home with a wiresaw. The wiresaw did not cut it. 

Then Saturday morning I did some google research looking for the name of the thing, turns out, the term I was looking for is a "Wood Shim" so as soon as we got the name for the thing it was pretty straight forward. 

Here we are using the shims to take the mirror out. I got to say working on the house is more fun than I expected. 

Currently Reading on GoodReads

 If you look at the GoodReads widget on this blog's right panel you'll see that I am currently reading four books. Am I reading them all at once? The short answer is, yes. But I have a system. 

The Daily Stoic (audible)

This audio book is broken down into 366 daily meditations, so I just listen to a 2 minute daily meditation first thing in the morning. I use it to reflect on the teachings of the Stoics. I like it because it's a practical philosophy for everyday people. I just started today, but this will be a daily habit for the next 365 days. 

The Staff's Engineer's Path (kindle)

This book describes what senior engineers (as opposed to managers) actually do, it's for those people who want to grow into more senior roles. 

I think it's more accurate to say that I'm studying this book and using it as a reference book, however, I am slowly working my way through this book in order to level up my engineering game. 

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius (kindle)

This is the book that I'm reading when I'm not studying the Staff Engineer's Path. I'm reading in short bursts. It's the ancient Roman Emperor's diary, where he was writing things down for himself only. In it we get a glimpse of the inner life of this man. These meditations are now a classic introduction to the teachings of Stocism. 

It's very accessible for such an old book. 

ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life (paperback)

This is a book I'm studying with pencil and note taking, I'm doing a chapter per day. This book is filled with practical advice for organizing your time, priorities and physical possessions when living with ADD. It's written in a very ADD-friendly format with lots of lists, outlines and text boxes. 

Hey, thanks for the mention, Dan

If there was only one piece of advice that I wish I had known early in my career as a software dev is that understanding people is more important than undertanding tech, by a long shot.

— Yes Way Jose 👨‍💻 🇺🇸 🇻🇪 (@PhilosoGeekDad) June 5, 2021

So my buddy Dan quoted my tweet yesterday in his blog post go check it out! He writes advice for developers that are starting their career journey. Good stuff. 

My Review of "Darkness Visible" by William Styron on GoodReads

Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness by William Styron
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A lucid, honest and intense memoir about the author's struggles with depression and how close he came to committing suicide. The book is written in first-person perspective and narrated by the author. (I read the audio version)

Overall I am glad I read it, it came recommended from a buddy of mine in the Marine Corps.

The author did the right thing, he recognized he needed help and reached out for help when he was close to doing harm to himself.

There should be no stigma associated with mental health. Everyone can use help sometimes. It does not make you less of a person, in fact, it is a sign of strength to know yourself enough to reach out for help.

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Softball in the cold

It's going to be quite chilly thru Saturday morning, especially in areas with breezy winds. Areas near the foothills of the Cascades will experience wind chills into the single digits to around 0°F. Here's a look at the forecast wind chills. Bundle up if you're headed out! #wawx pic.twitter.com/MRtxiDfdN9

— NWS Seattle (@NWSSeattle) February 23, 2023

 

Gaby has her first softball tournament today in Everett WA. The thing is, it's freaking cold. 24 degrees right now with one inch of snowfall this morning. It's going to be really interesting to see how the girls are going to play 3 games all day out in weather like this. 

Send thoughts and prayers. 

What have I been up to: Feb 2023 edition

Alright, I'm sitting here at a Public Library waiting for Gaby to finish softball practice, today the weather was going to be nice but then a last minute front came in and practice got moved an hour later and to an indoor facility. It's a typical Seattle evening in February. Rainy, 37 degrees last time I checked. I'm tired, I worked from the office today and I don't feel like doing anything productive so I figured I just write here and start rambling about what's fun, work and not fun. 

Fun Stuff

Skiing at Stevens

I go as often as I can. This is one of those things that gets me going into a state of flow, when I was first learning to ski it was scary, stressful and super hard on my knees, but now that I can at least not die it is just fun. 

Staying home

Last weekend I was going to go but since Gaby had stuff to do I stayed home, as a game I told Martha that I will not say no to anything she asked for that day. Needless to say, I did a lot of house chores that day. Yet I managed not to cook any meals. Another game I came up with is the one where I read to Martha the beginning of a book that has been turned into a movie or TV show that we've seen and I try to see if she can figure it out. Faster one was "Gone Girl" because she actually read the book, the one that she didn't get was "Station Eleven" because she didn't really watch the show. 

Home improvements

We put a dog run on the backyard, that was a real good investment, we covered the backyard and the side of the house with artificial turf, now the dogs can go out and not get muddy and the house stays clean. We love it. We're putting wallpaper in the bathrooms, we're going to add a fireplace to the living room and do other miscellaneous things, like adding a drybar area and shelves for my books. 

Modeling Shoot

Yeah, so today at work I did something different than the usual software engineering stuff. I got an email asking for volunteers for models to wear Amazon Web Services apparel for the online catalog and social media. They were looking for "diversity" so since I belong to the Latinos at Amazon Affinity group and because of my great looks (lol) 😂  so I told them I'll do it and they said yeah. It was a lot of fun, there were other "models" there that I met, I met a lady from Florida we bonded over the "yeah, I'll never live there again" and "which part of Florida is more sketch than Piooner Square" you know, typical Floridian in Seattle stuff. 

Work Stuff

Oncall

The last time I was oncall there was an outage that affected my service, and a VIP customer. I got paged so much, and I worked the hardest I've ever worked since I don't know when, The good part is that I got to meet famous people from the company since pretty much everyone was paying attention to this ticket.

No more working from home

Yeah, that was in the news the other day. Working from home is nice but as long as I don't have to commute to Bellevue I'll be okay.  Traffic is going suck, but at least the downtown scene will start thriving again, it was sad to see so many restaurants an businesses close during the pandemic

Big Project

I got asked to lead a big project with people working with me and all of that, it's more responsibility but I look forward to growing my skills.  There are things that come easy to me others take more work, planning, allocating time for multiple tasks organizing information and prioritizing are difficult. 

Not Fun Stuff

Chicha is getting old. 

Chicha turned eleven years old but lately her health is starting to deteriorate, she is the best dog I've ever had and I have a hard time letting go. I can't make the decision, but I know her time is coming. 

Sleep

I have not been sleeping well on and off since last November. I have had to deal with so many complicated situations that at night I just wake up early, like at 3 AM.  It was really bad in December, then January it got a little better but on and off. I've been much better this month but sometimes something triggers the insomnia and it sucks. It sucks the next day when I have to work because I don't have the energy to do normal executive function stuff. I notice that when I'm sleep deprived I'm more likely to get angry or upset or sad, alternatively when I get a good night sleep I'm in such a good mood that people can tell the difference. I am trying everything that I know to address this, but it still happens. I've been like this all my life but I think this is the longest stretch I've had where it happens more often than not. 

Well, that's all I have for now, the Library is about to close so I'm just going to publish without proof-reading. 

-JV

My Review of "Detox Your Thoughts" by Andrea Bonior on GoodReads

Detox Your Thoughts: Quit Negative Self-Talk for Good and Discover the Life You've Always Wanted by Andrea Bonior
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is a self-help book. I'm usually skeptical but this one had a lot good info.

The book is short, a little over 200 pages with short chapters structured in a simple-to-digest manner. Lots of summaries and bullet points, which I liked.

There are four parts Part I: Your Mind, Part II: Your Moment, Part III: Your Heart and Part IV: Your Future. These are strategies for dealing with corrosive thoughts and feelings. The overall message is that we are not our thoughts, that thoughts and feelings themselves are not bad per se, but it's how we interpret them, how we react to them and act on them that can be toxic. I'd say it's a good read, it's good to know, of course the knowledge here has to be put into practice to be effective.

At first I thought I didn't have much to learn from it since personally I do not beat myself up with negative talk like "I can't do this" or "this is too much" etc, etc. There's no way I could have gotten through the Marines, a war, engineering school talking to myself like that. However, I did gain a few key insights into my psyche that I will take with me:

1. Emotions should not be dismissed or suppressed, they should be examined. When you tune out to your emotions, they come back, with force. Acknowledge your feelings and they will pass on their own.

2. Avoiding discomfort only makes things worse. People will do all kinds of things to avoid facing a tough reality. It's better to face the thing that you want to avoid to stop giving it power over you.

3. The one that hit me was the myth of arrival, people who live from goal to goal trying to achieve because deep down they believe that they have to achieve things in order to be worthy of love. I had to reckon with that one. I was raised to think that way, I absorbed that message and had internalized it.

Overall, it passed the test for good reads. I made me see things a bit differently, I do understand myself a bit better. It taught me to treat myself with the same kindness and compassion as I try to treat others.

Good Read.

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Life is not an Instagram or Facebook account

Is social media more harmful than good? Depends on how you use it. It should be for making connections and not for getting acceptance. 

Acceptance should come from within, if you don't love yourself and accept yourself as you are, just the way you are, with your quirks and imperfections, your past mistakes and regrets, your goals, dreams, values and desires. If you don't have that going for yourself, you're not going to get it from the outside world. Many people have this idealized version of themselves that they want to put online and when that idealized version doesn't match reality it can be harmful. It's no coincidence that studies have shown that social media use has been linked to increase depression, feeling of isolation and self-harm. It can lead to people feeling inadequate about their life or their appearance. It can make people feel lonely and isolated.  I also think that it makes you shallower, cuts your attention span and makes you pay attention to the wrong things, honestly. 

So before you post the next picture online, you must ask yourself, who am I posting it for? what purpose is this serving?  For me I like to post pictures on IG of things that I want to remember about that day, my audience is future me. If people in my life like the pic great, if not, that's okay. 

I used to think I could use Facebook to change people's mind, I just posted a link to the NPR story about Florida's war against trans rights, but I should know better than that, I don't think FB can be used to reach out and change people's minds about stuff like that, most of the time it just preaching to the choir.  What gives me hope is that maybe there's someone out there on the fence about the issue (it's 2023, not sure if that is realistic) and then they see my post and it persuades them. 

Anyway, my take on the whole social media thing is that you can use it for a good purpose and it won't be harmful however keep in mind that the people behind these apps are spending millions of dollars on figuring out how to capture your attention to make a profit. You are the product and if your well-being the price to pay to get you to be on their app they will gladly pay that price for you. 

Anyway, I got to get  to work now.

-JV

In the news: Florida bans gender-affirming care for trans kids

https://www.npr.org/2023/02/20/1157493433/florida-bans-gender-affirming-care-trans-kids

I wish I had the words to properly express how wrong this is.

The playbook is a old as time, politicians targeting vulnerable groups in order to get votes. 

I still hang on to the hope that most people are decent and want to do the right thing, that's why I'm calling on you (whoever is reading this) to please don't let this stand. Fight back against hate and intolerance. 

My review of "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone" by Lori Gottlieb on GoodReads

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed by Lori Gottlieb
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I enjoyed reading this book, a lot.

Lori Gottlieb, the author, a practicing therapist in LA, writes a moving, funny and witty memory recounting her experience seeing a therapist after a sudden breakup. She has to deal with this crisis while at the same time helping others sort out their own problems. The mental image of a therapist quietly crying at her desk moments before talking to her patient is quite something (sad? hilarious? fascinating? all the above)
The author confides with us the inner stories her patients shared with her (identifying details altered for privacy) the stories are good, they are educational, poignant and engaging. Their stories tell us something about ourselves in a way that make it easy to face because it's presented in a non-threatening way.
The book is powerful because it's honest. The author makes herself totally vulnerable by revealing her insecurities and her issues with the whole world while also explaining that flaws don't make us defective, it makes us human.
I liked that the book is funny and the engaging style keeps the reader turning the pages.

I still had a lot of questions about the stories (how did things turn out with X, Y and Z? ) there is closure for some of them, but not all. I guess that's not the point of the book.

I love it when a book shows me new ways to understand the world, this book does exactly that. The inner world of the human mind is a vast universe that deserves our attention. Good Read.

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My Review of "How to Be a Stoic" by Massimo Pigliucci on GoodReads

How to Be a Stoic: Using Ancient Philosophy to Live a Modern Life by Massimo Pigliucci
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Massimo Pigliucci offers the readers a practical guide to practicing stoicism, an ancient philosophy that has helped people live a good life for centuries. The book provides a concise summary of the tenets of stoicism, a brief history of its origins and a practical explanation on applying the wisdom of the ancient romans and greek stoics.

The book is divided in three parts, "The Discipline of Desire", "The Discipline of Action" and "The Discipline of Assent" What is proper to want and not want, How to Behave in the World and How to React to Situations.

The last chapter has a list of exercises taken from Epictetus’ Enchiridion meant to be practiced daily.

I was exposed to Stoicism in college when I took a class called "Reason and Values" that literally changed my life. I always summarized the teachings as "Focus what you can control, let go of the rest" as well as "Work on your character, nothing else matters" Meaning that to live a good life you must strive to be a virtuous person, and understand what you value and work on that. Nothing else works, if you focus on money you won't ever have enough, if you externalize your happiness (you base your happiness on what others think) then you will always be miserable because you don't control what other people do.

This book was a good review of the Stoic teachings, it offers well-written explanations meant for anyone to pick up and start practicing. I like how the author does not claim that Stoicism is the "one true way" or that this is the "silver bullet" that will solve all people's problems. Rather this is a guide for living your best life by adopting what works and dropping what doesn't. It's a powerful worldview when combined with a scientific approach to understanding the Universe.

The book is too short and leaves out a lot of other stoic works, but for the purpose of being an introductory book, it's perfect.

JV

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Back to part-time teaching at UW

 This semester I started a job part-time as a teaching assistant at UW's Machine Learning Certificate program given by the PCE department. I've been doing that on and off since 2017 (wow, 5 years!) and it's lots of fun. I get to meet a lot of fascinating people, the students come from different academic background and industries there's of course your typical data scientist with the big tech companies, but there's a guy who works as a data scientist for a major league baseball team! there's a lady who studied enology (the science of wine, yes!) there's always some dude that studied physics and math, a healthy amount of students in the bio sciences as well as business analysts folks. All of us have one thing in common, we love stats. 

 I confess that I don't like to grade homework that much, that's like, the least enjoyable part of my job, but I love keeping up to date on this area. It really sucks that classes are Thursday nights because that means I'll miss Trivia night with the wife. I need to find another bar that does trivia a different day, can't just give up on that. 

Anyone interested in learning Machine Learning, there are tons of free courses out there. I really enjoy MIT's ML course but there is no substitute for having discussions with other students, Q&A with a teacher and getting feedback on course assignments. 

One of these days when I have time (lol) I'll write some posts explaining ML concepts, if I ever get to that, I'll put it in my other blog. Don't know when that's going to happen.  I have been swamped with my day job the past couple of weeks, I'm a bit worried about managing my time with this part time job, we'll see how that goes. 

-JV

How to calculate square root of a number in your head

 Found this cool article on hacker news. 

How to estimate the square root of a numer without using a calculator. 

Link:

 https://gregorygundersen.com/blog/2023/02/01/estimating-square-roots/

Excerpt from my war journal: Self-discovery, meditation and reflection in the desert

Like I said earlier, I was going through my journal and I found things in there that I think it's TMI for the whole world to see. Not that many people are reading anyway, I do get a few dozen readers per post, I don't know who exactly is reading, but to the 400+ people who read my posts, thanks? Just know that I write here just for myself. 

 There is one entry in my journal that really moved me. It feels weird to talk about my deepest thoughts about myself in this way out in the internet, but the truth is that even though many people I meet seem impressed with all the things I've accomplished in my life, deep down, I am not impressed with myself at all. I am very, very harsh on me internally. I have impossibly high standards that I work really hard to meet, but for whatever reason I always feel like an imposter like I'm not good enough. I'm lucky that the people around me support me and love me unconditionally becuase internally I am always critizing myself, I think it's good to always grow and improve but every once in a while it's good to be kind to yourself, it's good to forgive yourself for your mistakes and maybe it's good to say something positive about yourself once in a while. I believe in personal growth and improving but sometimes it's okay to just BE. 

 This is why when I read this entry for a change I felt pleased with myself because 24 year old me was thinking about the rigtht things and doing good deeds during a difficult situation. So I want to be kind to myself and nice to myself and congratulate it, and share it. 

 The context: This entry is dated May 5 2003, my unit was in an airfield in the middle of the desert in the country of Jordan about 70 Kms from the border with Iraq. We had spent the war essentially being security for a airport runway in the middle of nowhere. There were things I remember but didn't write down in my journal, about seeing the special forces dudes drive off to Iraq to do covert missions long before the war officially started, about volunteering to help unload casualties from the helicopters in the middle of the night. Anyway one night after dinner chow we learned that we were getting orders to "go forward" meaning, we're going to Iraq. 

I remmeber that the only thing that mattered for me was making a phone call to let my wife know that I was going forward, because I knew that meant that she will definetly not hear from me in a while, there were no phones or infrastructure back then, obviously. I also knew in the back of my head, perhaps that would be the last time I ever talk to her? I couldn't admit it to myself then, but I knew that was a possibility and I really needed to hear her voice one last time. Unfortunately, I could not reach her, there was a limited amount of public phones on the base, they were turned off most of the time, there was always a line to use them and when I finally got my turn the phone was ringing and going straight to voice mail. I was mortified, frustrated, and desperate. I kept trying and trying until I finally got to talk to Martha. 

 Then, in typical military hurry-up-and-wait fashion, we waited and waited for the C-130's to fly us in. It took days to get the whole battalion to Bagdhad. We were separated and split into groups of 8, 24 or 60 people, I don't remember how many nights I spent in the runway waiting for a bird to take us in, I think we got word on a Sunday night and I got on a flight on Thursday morning, but I'm not sure. I do know that knowing you were going to a combat zone makes you see things differently, I was thinking about my identity, like, what makes me, me? In the context of the carnage going on, I knew that some of us were going to die, what does the loss of a human life in this way mean to the world? I'm just one more out of millions I thought, from my point of view I'm the most important character in the movie of my life, but in reality, what difference does that make in the history of the world? Very existential shit, for an infantry soldier about to fly to war. 

 So I want to share the pure, raw, most-inner thoughts of a young soldier scared for his life. 

 

 May 5 Jordan 

 Monday, 

Yesterday, right before dinner chow word got passed that we're leaving the next day at 06:00 to go forward to IRAQ. We immediatly began to pack. I was tired because the night before I tried to call home. I was tired 

 from doing the detail[1], but I wanted to talk to her, So I went from 12:00 to 3:00 AM, I only got my cell's answering machine.[2] So the next morning Pierce let me use his cell phone. I went to the MWR[3] tent and I called her. I got to say I was worried about the cell phone situation, after we got word that we were leaving I went to call, actually, Sgt Knight lent me his phone but I couldn't reach her, I called my parents instead, I talked to Mom, it was her birthday, so she was happy to hear from me, and I was too, but still, my wife was lingering in my mind, at one in the morning I asked Sgt Knight again this time I called Karol's cell[4], Martha answered the phone, she was really glad to hear from me, but as soon 

 

 as I told her that I was going (to Iraq) she started to cry, that really breaks my heart, now I feel bad cuz I left Martha all sad. But I really wanted her to hear it from me. Damn, I really miss her. I've been thinking about her a lot lately. I trust her, but I don't like being apart from for so long it's going to take some work to get our lives together. I really can't wait to be with her again.

          Later. 

 

Well, it looks like we are not leaving just yet. I am sitting here bored, I was reading Imagica[5] it's almost ten P.M. but I'm not sleepy, actually I was doing what I do a lot, thinking, reminiscing of different days and situations,

 I'm listening to Projecto Uno and I was thinking about my drives from Florida to North Carolina where I would play this CD in my Cavalier so I would stay awake, I was thinking about all the situations in which I can't help, in which I'm stuck and only time can fix, and showhow after it's all done I always look back on them, it never feels looks that bad after it's over. I feel a lot of nostalgia towards my past. I miss the States. but why? besides the obvious, my wife and my goals. I miss my freedom. But come to think of it I am free here. When I get back I won't have the time to ponder about life like I do now. The way I did on those long drives back from Florida to North Carolina. 

So I was wondering. What am I about? What do I stand for? What defines me? Who am I? I can say what I am. I am 24 years old, Venezuelan born American citizen. Sergeant, Florida National Guard. Mortarman. I am an American soldier in the Middle East. I am a newly wed absent husband. I am a computer Engineering Student at Florida Atlantic University. I am a teller at Bank Atlantic. I am part of a Christian family[6] I am bilingual, What have I done? let's see. I am a high school graduate. I was commanded the Honor Guard[7] at Boyd Anderson H.S. I joined the Marine Corps after H.S. I graduated #1 out of Corporal's Course. I was had my own Mortar section

 

at age 19. [8] I help my parents whenever I can can. I have a 3.76 GPA in FAU out of 20 classes I have one B, one B+ one C and a C+[9] the rest were A's. I am married. But who Am I? By that I mean what do I believe in? What do I stand for? what is he meaning of my existence? That's really hard for me to see. I believe in doing the right thing, whatever that is. That's the problem, I do not know what is the right thing to do.  In the most basic thing I think taking care of my own. Taking care of Martha and my family, be their provider and mentor. I want to be a good example to my children, I want to father people who will make history, who contribute to humanity in a positive way, I want to 

       reach wisdom, to learn something about life and human nature everyday. I believe that you reap what you sow. I believe that you get out of life what you put into it. but also life is about the journey, not the destination to me life is like a trip, you have to learn a few things along the way in order to make your ride more comfortable. but you can't get lost in the details. Also I really believe that life is the ultimate gift a human is capable of providing I was given life and I want to return the favor. But I can't begin to explain what the hell life is about. There are so many things going on. So many Questions without Answers. I guess people make up their own answers to the Same Questions 

I am not different, but I want to define myself. I want to be able to say who is Jose Ali Villalta P? The best answer I can give right now I am a man who is curious about the world. I remember that as a Kid I lived in constant awe about the most mundane things. I used to daydream a lot. But I used to wonder about stuff that left any impression on me. Wars, flying planes. Science-fiction all those things interested me. History still does. What can we learn from our past? I am curious about everything. I wan to see the world and know its people. I want knowledge. I want to understand. That's who I am. a wonderer, a curious kid. 

----

This, I wrote, waiting to go to combat. Thinking if I die will it mean something? Wondering who the hell is this person writing these words. 

 well, I think that 24-year-old-me got it right. That's who I am.  I am just a curious kid, I feel energized when I learn something new, I feel a spark of joy when something that I didn't understand suddenly makes sense. That's who I am at the core, I am a scientist and philosopher at heart. My schooling might be in engineering, but my heart is with those who wonder, those who explore.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I really enjoyed re-reading and sharing this entry. I know I must sound corny or whatever, but I really don't care. I speak my truth here with no shame whatsoever. 

 J.V.

Seattle. 

Notes: 

 1. detail is ARMY jargon for a performing a particular task. In this case I remember we were guarding fuel reserves, jet fuel if I remember correctly. 

 2. I guess the term voice mail was invented yet? 

 3. MWR: Morale Welfare and Recreation, the hangout lounge for troops on a break. 

 4. My mother in law 

 5. Some fantasy novel

 6. I declared myself an atheist officially in 2007, but I already had my doubts at this point

 7. JROTC 

 8. Mortars section leader as a teenager (in charge of 10 people) is not too bad, but not uncommon in the Marines...if you know what you are doing. 

 9. Freaking Calculus and Differential Equations wrecked my perfect 4.0 lol Have not checked my math here, I tend to lie about my GPA, even to myself apparently.