Sunday, November 20, 2005

Back to the Real World

Communication is important

Army life reminds me of the litte things that make a big difference, like being able to get your point accross without room for misinterpretation. I learned that lesson the hard way, of course. In the Marines I had to learn how to listen, and how to talk, in the Army I had to learn how to communicate, I had a Captain in Iraq, who was from Mississippi, I suspect that he was fooled by my heavy accent, and he didn't think I was as capable as a native English speaker, as wrong as his attitude may seem, he may have a point, being able to express one's ideas is paramount if one wants to get anything done as a group bigger than two people. I have tried to master that obstacle to the best of my ability, but here in Minnesota there are many soldiers who can't understand what I am saying, so I get a lot of opportunities to work on that. The best Communications teacher is marriage, oh yes, being married tought me many lessons about that. 99.9% of all our fights have been because of this, one person assumes that what he or she thinks is obvious, while their partner is thinking something completely different, this applies to all aspects of the relationship, if a couple can master how to properly communicate they have mastered most of their issues...if anyone out there can figure out how to do that please let me know, until then I will continue to get pounded in the head with a mullet.

A true Hero

I know one person that I admire and respect but that I will never have the guts to say so to his face, He's a personal hero and an inspiration.
There's a guy in my National Guard Unit who is a disabled veteran from Afghanistan, he was a member of a Special Forces Team (green berets) that got hit with a cluster bomb by accident. Friendly fire is the most accurate fire says Murphy's Law. His Team lost many men, He lost his right arm. But unlike many veterans I know, he decided to live his life the best to the fullest. I admire the fact that he continues to work in the Army even though he was crippled, six months after losing an arm and almost losing his legs, this person was skiing, he still runs, does push ups and can pass the Army's Physical Fitness Test, not only that, but he never complains about it, he just drives on, I heard that he was going to get a job as a ROTC cadre at a college but the instructors thought that a disabled veteran would scare people away from the Army, WTF! I think that was so much BS, but I am glad that our company got him, people like that are true heroes, not because they went to war, or because they got wounded, (after all, it does not take heroism to take a bullet, they kind of come your way automatically) the hard part is how you act afterwards, the biggest enemy is the one within, this individual could have easily cocooned into a self-pity state and who could blame him? it happens all the time, he could have turned bitter, depressed, and those would have been "normal" reactions to his luck, but he decided that he was not going to let that change the way he lived. I admire that dedication. He's an ispiration to me and should be for everyone, what's your excuse for not doing what you want to do? A lot of times we like to put the blame of our misery on God, the devil,our parents, the president, society, the goverment,liberals, conservatives, rich people,criminals, big corporations, etc, etc. But we fail to realise that the biggest obstacle, our biggest enemy is withing ourselves. I am the first one that could use my advice. I have quit doing thigs that I really wanted to do because I thought they were too hard, but it can be done, all it takes is the right aproach to the problem.

What else is going on

It's good to be back from my weekend Drill, I am doing good, Anthony is growing up so fast. He went to the Doctor last Friday, he weights 15lbs! That's a big baby. Martha is doing good, we're happy Mayi and Esteban are here visiting. They are fun to be around. I wish my sister could have made it up here, but you can't win them all I guess.

Ok Everybody, that's all I have, stay tuned for the next installation of The King's Own




Johnymepeino said...

plas,plas,plas, (applause). Is the best paragraph I had readen from a lot of time. Thanks for write this for all us.

Johnymepeino said...

At now I can say you only that your point of view it's all right: "Come back to the real world". In Spain we say about comunication with the women: "If you can do it with your intimate friend, you can do it with she".

I don't know english, I'm using a poor software for translate american's blogs but Jose... It's easy for my understand you. (I'm thinking in your ideas not in your lenguage only).

I don't know other things, but you know to express your feelings correctly. You have a humble and open heart to the other person. I wish yo the best thing in this week.

Regards from Spain where you have a novice friend arranged to help you.

Jose said...


Muchisimas gracias por dejar tu opinion aca, me alegra hacer conneciones fuera de mi circulo habitual de amistades.

In Spain we say about comunication with the women: "If you can do it with your intimate friend, you can do it with she".

I have a question about that, could you write that saying is Spanish? I am not sure what it means, I think it means that if you can communicate with a good friend that you can communicate with your woman?

Thanks a lot for trying your best to write in English, you will get better if you practice, practice, practice. Plus that will help you in many more places than just this blog.


Johnymepeino said...

You were writing: "if anyone out there can figure out how to do that please let me know, until then I will continue to get pounded in the head with a mullet. Then I said you: "If you can communicate with your goog frend". Or: "You are not the problem because you are writing like a person of good heart.

I'm not here for learn english. I'm one of some many bloggers around the blogsphere only. The communicate can to turn us in a pair of good friends. The ball is in your tile roof.

Jose said...

OK, I see. Thanks.

Johnymepeino said...

Are you really undergoing that conflictivity?. You are doing much by your family.Think about your time in Irak. Your son needs to you. He needs a peacefull home. He deserves a calm home. You do not take the blame if in your house there are problems. You do not strike your head. You are not the guilty then.

Jose said...

Well, we don't have big violent fights! I don't like to have arguments with my wife, but sometimes we do.

When we have arguments I find that most of the time the whole fight could have been avoided IF we knew how to communicate without making assupmtions. But that's not that easy, however, I am learning.

I agree, I don't want to have fights in front of my son. I want to give him a good home.

My philosophy is to think before speaking, that always helps.

Achiever said...

Jose ~
I find your experiences awesome, you went to Iraq like many soldiers you are considered a Hero in my book , my dad died in the war , im 15 so in 2 years i'm enlisting and i'm going to iraq too, I'm half latino and half colombiam, well i hope you continue with your blog , my e mail is