Yesterday marked the 20-year anniversary of the day that the 124th Infantry Regiment from the Florida National Guard was activated by Governor Jeb Bush in order to support the war on terrorism. I was a 23 year old, newly-married FAU student enlisted in the FLNG thinking that we'll never get deployed (haha)
Our unit ended up deployed for 15 months. We got our orders January 10th 2003 and I returned March 11 2004.
So I was thinking about doing a thing were I post a journal entry on the anniversary of the date in the journal, but I read my diary last night and decided against it because it was way too personal and I wrote things in there that are for me only.
20 years later I feel kinda the same I felt 10 years ago or 5 years ago. Namely, that shit sucked. But I'm glad we made it through and I'm grateful for being able to say I served this country.
Big picture thinking I hope we as a nation learned our lesson not to get involved in conflicts that you can't stop, but America has the amazing ability to ignore history when making political decisions.
The thing that bothers me (haunts me) is the plight of Iraqi people. Civilians. They got a bad deal and yet they are still there living the best they can with the circumstances they have gotten. They didn't choose to have the US fucking level their country but, there they are. I don't want to offer simplistic answers to a complex situation, the Iraqi people have been fighting among themselves for a while, Sunni and Shiite tribes have been struggling for power there for centuries but I still feel bad for them.
It's so easy to think about wars in abstract terms and to imagine combat as an empty battlefield with two opposing forces. Truth is messier than that. There are more than two players and there's always collateral damage. Yeah our leaders weigh in the pros and cons but it's the grunts on the ground that have to get their hands dirty. It was people like me and other young idealistic service members that get sent there and have to see first hand what destruction really looks like. All that, for what? What exactly did we accomplish there? What was it for? Oil? Dominance? For our Freedom?
On a personal level I consider myself one of the lucky ones. I was able to do what I wanted to do with my life. I have mostly moved on even though this type of experience stays with you for me it's not a heavy burden.
Sometimes I dream about Iraq, they are not pleasant dreams but the next day I feel like I had a catch up session with an old friend. I am thankful and grateful for every day I get because you are here one day and the next you may not be here.
JV
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